初恋

这是一部拍给美国人看的电影，一部911之后反思生命的电影，如果不知道这背景，我几乎难以理解那冗长的对话和没有跌宕起伏的情节。

我承认，我是为了诺顿找到这里，而电影本身的基调也充满了诺顿那种优雅沉静的气息，影片开头那长达数分钟的纽约街头漫步，因为是诺顿，所以赏心悦目不觉沉闷，然而，电影并非为了花痴而存在，它所展现的，是一个普通纽约人的一天，清晨的河边，变幻的街景，生活在这里延续，并没有特别，然而对于MONTY，却是最后的一天。

MONTY的两个朋友，在等待他出现时倚在窗边的对话，也花费了大量时间，循规蹈矩的老师认为七年过去便可重新开始，华尔街经纪人却认为今日过去，一切都将消失。

镜头转向世贸废墟，昔日繁华灰飞烟灭，那不过是纽约最为平常的一天，而那些匆匆赶去上班的人们，并不知道那即是生命中的最后一天。

一个是花费一生才能看到教育成果的老师，一个却是瞬息之间需要决断的经纪人，难道是巧合？

生命该如何选择，是今日尽兴而归，还是相信明天終将来临？

老师的那一吻，是对不可预知的未来表示的绝望，经纪人对MONTY女友的诘问是末日将临之前对过去的悔恨，那不只是MONTY生涯的最后24小时，是这座城市对于生命的反思。

影片中最为人称道的诺顿在洗手间的独白，展现纽约这座城市的风貌，fuck这里的一切，但仍热爱；经纪人在窗前说：拉登就算再炸，我也不搬离这座楼；父亲送MONTY离开时的旁白，异乡终老亦不忘：“我是纽约人”。

这是治愈纽约人创伤的电影吧，是要说，生活在继续，第25个小时是新生的开始，无论曾经遭遇过什么，忘记吧；无论去到哪里，请记住吧，我曾有的过往，曾爱过的人，属于过的城市。

因为我们不是纽约人，更难深刻的理解这电影，但无疑，它舒缓悠扬的配乐让我领略到忧伤，清晨河边牵狗的男人让我感受到生活的美，无论在哪里，life is just a life，有绝路，亦可逢生，enjoy it，不管明天是否还将来临。

Well, fuck you, too. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass! Fuck Jacob Elinsky, whining malcontent. Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass. Fuck Naturelle Riviera, I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river, fucking bitch. Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar sipping on club sodas, selling whisky to firemen, cheering the Bronx bombers. Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row-houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fucking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place.

[Monty standing in the men's bathroom, talking to himself in a mirror with a "FUCK YOU" written on it] Monty Brogan: Well, fuck you, too. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass! Fuck Jacob Elinsky, whining malcontent. Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass. Fuck Naturelle Riviera, I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river, fucking bitch. Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar sipping on club sodas, selling whisky to firemen, cheering the Bronx bombers. Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row-houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fucking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place. [pause] Monty Brogan: No. No, fuck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all, and you threw it away, you dumb fuck!

真的，告诉我什么叫做真正的生活，告诉我人是怎么由人性和兽性结合在一起的，这两者是怎么接受现实的拷打，然后大浪淘沙下来的才是金子。

以前我不思考什么才是生活，什么才是人性，现在结合自己的生活才看明白人性的选择，我还是要分析要动脑子才行。

只有失去了才是知道珍惜，爱德华诺顿用25小时一天的生活告诉我，每一分一秒都要好好的利用，都要当成最后一天来过，否则就会搞砸了，人生还是要好好的走，否则容易走错了，人真的可能会走错的，所以每一步都要动脑子，都要努力，都要小心❤️ 我以前相信老天有眼，可是我身边那些畜生老天真的会有眼吗？

我天生没有兽性只有人性，还要被那些畜生一直咬着，希望老天有眼，还是他妈的要靠自己，这个问题我一定要弄清楚。

总之他妈的一定要把自己弄好，这才是真的，其它的可以慢慢探索。

一定要做好自己。

我们很多人跟芒蒂一样，在生活平静的时候，我们也以为生活就是这样。

而当他贩毒事发后，一切开始因为灾难而随之而动：爱情，亲情，友情。

爱情，经受了考验，不是女友告发的；友情，更在最后为了让他好好在监狱生活，而朋友含着痛与泪来帮他破像；亲情，父亲对他的将来进行了美好的设计，规划和谆谆教导。

这里我最喜欢的就是电影中的义气：从小一起长大的哥们没有离他而去；而他也没有背叛同伙，自己一个人把这事给扛了下来（即使不扛，他也没有好果子吃）在他患难的时候，这些人与人之间真挚的感情让他开始平静去思考，感受和面对这个世界。

之前他FUXK的人最后在电影中都那么可爱；而他对自己也生活也有了重新认识，一切也都那么美好起来－－也许是真的因为觉得美好，也许是因为虽然这些平常他FUXK的东西，比起他可怕的牢狱生活来说，要可爱的得。

生活就是这样，在一切顺利的时候，你觉得生活很平淡，无聊，可是等到了灾难困难发生，才发现自己平常觉得很讨厌，很反感，很没趣的东西，是那么珍贵，可爱，难得。

失去后才知道拥有的珍贵；苦难才知道平淡的美好。

如同最后在结尾他父亲说，你在沉默中发现平静，在平静中找到天堂。

You know how they find people?They find them when they come home.People went away,but they usually come back,that's why they got caught.So you go,and never come back,never come home. Let's drive,keep driving, Head out to the middle of nowhere, take that road as far as it takes us. You've never been west of Philly, have ya? This is a beautiful country Monty, it's beautiful out there, like a different world. Mountains, hills, cows, farms, and white churches. I drove out west with your mother one time, before you was born. Brooklyn to the Pacific in three days. Just enough money for gas, sandwiches, and coffee, but we made it. Every man, woman, and child alive should see the desert one time before they die.Nothin' at all for miles around. Nothin' but sand and rocks and cactus and blue sky.Not a soul in sight. No sirens. No car alarms. Nobody honkin' atcha. No madmen cursin' or pissin' in the streets. You find the silence out there, you find the peace. You can find God. So we drive west, keep driving till we find a nice little town. These towns out in the desert, you know why they got there? People wanted to get way from somewhere else.The desert's for startin' over.Find a bar and I'll buy us drinks.I haven't had a drink in two years, but I'll have one with you, one last whisky with my boy. Take our time with it, taste the barley, let it linger. And then I'll go. I'll tell you dont ever write me, dont ever visit, I'll tell you I believe in God's kingdom and I'll see you and your mother again, but not in this lifetime. You'll get a job somewhere, a job that pays cash, a boss who doesn't ask questions, and you make a new life and you never come back. Monty, people like you, it's a gift, you'll make friends wherever you go.You're going to work hard, you're going to keep your head down and your mouth shut. You're going to make yourself a new home out there. You're a New Yorker, that won't ever change. You got New York in your bones. Spend the rest of your life out west but you're still a New Yorker. You'll miss your friends, you'll miss your dog, but you're strong. You got your mother backbone in you, you're strong like she was. You find the right people, and you get yourself papers, a drivers license.You forget your old life, you can't come back, you can't call, you can't write. You never look back. You make a new life for yourself and you live it, you hear me? You live your live the way it should have been. But maybe, this is dangerous, but maybe after a few years you send word to Naturelle.You get yourself a new family and you raise them right, you hear me?Give them a good life Monty. Give them what they need. You have a son, maybe you name him James, it's a good strong name, and maybe one day years from now years after im dead and gone reunited with your dear ma, you gather your whole family around and tell them the truth, who you are, where you come from, you tell them the whole story. Then you ask them if they know how lucky there are to be there.It all came so close to never happening. This life came so close to never happening.

一开始还没意识到，frank家窗外的空地就是911的废墟。

他说：再撞一次我也不搬家。

2道冲天的蓝色光柱，那样巨大的幽灵。

到底想纪念什么呢？

有一天--也许人生彻底失控了--会油然而生荒诞的感觉。

一瞬间灵魂出窍，看自己的身体孤独机械的在世界上走走停停，就像看一部闷死人的电影。

没剧情也就罢了，连背景音乐都没有。

想起当年同桌的女生，如今居然去了华尔街，彻底两个世界。

她当年数学还不如我吧。

第一个陪我看电影的女生呢--虽然只是出于好心，帮我实现个夙愿...我的镜子上很干净，没有白色的单词。

自己也歇了吧。

纽约是怎样一个城市？

《格调》说纽约是美国第一居住地，而对外国人来说也许纽约是自由女神像，是帝国大厦，是第5大道，是百老汇……。

也许美国眼里的纽约有点象中国人眼里的上海，可美国的大都会比我们的多的多，历史也比我们久的多。

所以纽约在美国的地位未必可以和上海于中国作一个比较，但是纽约人对自己的城市那种有点护短的喜爱，对那溶入血液的纽约气质暧昧态度——自豪又不便太显山露水，和大洋对面的上海人倒是有不少共通之处。

所以HBO的《欲望都市》在上海那么红，也不仅仅是因为前两个字的关系。

而我所看到过的，电影里的纽约远多于现实里的纽约。

其实现实里纽约对好莱坞的电影工业有很大的影响力。

但这也肯定不是编导们对于纽约情有独衷的唯一理由。

《电子情书》里的纽约象是童话的世界，有种不真实的美。

《ONE FINE DAY》和《WORKING GIRL》里的纽约是白领们的。

《纯真年代》里是19世纪上层贵族的纽约，而《纽约黑帮》也许恰是它的反面。

中间还有《曼哈顿的故事》，《金玉盟》，《残酷大街》等等。

美国电影里记录了纽约各个时期的历史风貌。

不过最著名，而且最让人过目不忘和不可思议的镜头，却不是在电影里的，虽然大家都认为象极了电影，但却恰是事实。

“9.11”对美国人对纽约人的影响，是我们很难真正去体会的。

中国人的历史实在太长了，2000多年里，我们有多少的王朝起落，有多少的异族统治者来了又走，我们的文明又有多少次践踏，多少次融合。

最近的100多年里，我们又经历多少的破坏与创造，哪怕是这20多年来呢？

我们又打碎了多少？

所以中国人的世界观哲学观根本和美国人是两回事。

如果真有那么一天，我们也经历类似的恐怖事件，那么两国人在心灵层面上所遭遇的，肯定不同。

想到这些，是因为看了斯派克.李的《25 HOURS》。

说的是一个毒品贩子在入狱前的24小时里的生活。

这个贩子是土生土长的纽约人，爱尔兰后裔，最典型的。

在这天里，他去以前的中学看了看，见了见他最好的2个朋友。

而他的2个朋友也私下里见了面，讨论了一下关于他。

其中一个是华尔街才俊，另一个是老师。

前一个就住在9.11废墟旁的公寓里，从窗户望出去，就清楚的看见那遗骸。

而这让老师，惊跳着叫道：“哦，上帝！

”而我的反应是，这个人变态啊。

这个电影说到了亲情，爱情和友情，说到了选择和没有选择，说到了环境对人的影响，是抗争还是妥协……EDWARD NORTON 饰演的毒品贩子从很早就开始犯罪，把毒品卖给未成年人。

但是电影里没有什么他犯罪的描写，你只看到他对自己的自怨自怜，和对父亲，女友，朋友的难以割舍，还有对狗的关心。

这是一个帅帅的，痞痞的毒贩子。

有一段他在厕所里的蒙太奇，对于自己将要面对的7年牢狱，他从他父亲到街上的小贩和整个纽约都“FUCK”了一遍，最后他“FUCK”了自己。

原来每个人都是这样，对自己，总是最后一个去怪罪的，虽然，也只可能，还是因为自己。

评论说，伍迪艾伦是从骨子里了解纽约和纽约人，并且拍出了最代表纽约的电影。

是不是这样我不知道，因为我不是纽约人。

但现在我知道除了他，斯派克.李也是个骨子里的纽约人，因为有《25 HOURS》。

整部片子的摄影是非常冷峻的，如果可以用这个词来形容，呈现一种蓝绿的色调。

没有《电子情书》里暖暖的调子，也不是《欲望都市》里大都会的格调。

最多是在清晨或是半夜，没有什么人的岸边，和中央公园里僻静的角落。

或者是最HOT的CLUB，而即使是那么热闹的场景，也总是冷冷的感觉。

也许你也被主角的恐惧感摄取了。

然而奇怪的是，这镜头同时也让人感觉到导演对纽约的爱，如此的流畅清澈，好象温柔的轻抚。

也是在那段蒙太奇里，它所用到的元素，无一不是一个纽约土著对这个城市爱怨交织感情的体现。

在影片的最后，更是借了主角父亲的自白道出：“……无论你到哪里，你都是一个纽约人！

”我想到另一部影片《54俱乐部》里，那新泽西的少年对纽约的想往，现在我更能体会他的心情。

引人梦想的纽约！

将要结束了，这推搡着我一路向前的剥落时光。

刚刚还有人问我，要不要“跨年”，我说算了吧，跨了年，我好像就不再那么年轻了。

虽然并没有任何人来告诉我这一点，可这样的看法，如同那些迟早降落的渺茫一样，轻柔却是不离不弃地，握住了我的心。

还是一个人坐在写字台前，面对着满是污渍却无心擦拭的电脑屏幕，拧开几天前用八十张游戏奖票换来的矿泉水，目送着时间缓慢滑落，了无痕迹，也算是为自我的开脱。

击毙自己，不必到处搜寻手枪，或者祈祷命运的流弹，只消依赖于温热的躯体、纠缠于世界的疯狂、迷乱于万象的重华当中，就已经足够。

而当我把这一切安排停当，又突然在这新年之夜抽身而出的时候，环伺四周的，除了千万重的黑暗，就只剩下无论怎样疲惫和虚脱，也长驻眼窝的绝望。

这些天来，除了A片之外，也看了不少正规电影，虽然好像难得集中注意力一次性看完一部长片，却也咬着牙忘记后颈疼痛，伴随那些孤独的映画声响涉足不少漫长黑夜。

看片期间，我逐渐产生这样的想法：也许电影真的是更为先进的叙事或氛围营造形式，对于人物、形式感、情节、冲突、结构的组合与构架，远远比一个作家窝在家里鼓捣出的任何一部小说要来得复杂。

多种元素的重叠与矛盾，以及在拍摄与观影过程中那些无法调和的冲突，比之静态的视觉艺术或者文字作品，更接近于这个世界毫无头绪与逻辑的原貌。

就像深处人们内心的绝望，是的，原谅我总爱提到这位老朋友。

在我看过的所有文字里，无论怎样天花乱坠，所谓绝望和其他种种内心活动一样，都只是早已划定的情感疆界。

而有一部电影，《第二十五小时》，通过时空的延展和人物的外在变化，精确地描述了那样一个我深谙其味，却又无力诉说的败落世界。

关于整部电影，我想说的很多，首先我第一次知道了外国警察抓住了你犯罪，却不直接把你关进看守所，而是要体现人道主义放你一天假，让你第二天清早自行去报到。

还有作为单一民族国家的成员，又看惯了西方白种人的搔首弄姿，我实在无法接受片中主角女友那典型的苏丹-埃塞俄比亚人的外表。

即使有一个场景里她被设定为十八岁，还穿着格子呢短裙的校服坐在秋千上百无聊赖，这么齐备的要素，也无法在我空乏的头脑中幻化出一名福至心灵的LOLITA。

另外，我承认智力所限，或者是烂电影看得太多的缘故，对于这种叙事手法稍稍有点摆谱的片子，我无法不在第一次观看的时候产生很多误解，比如开始的时候竟然以为主角的两个朋友是坏蛋，正在谋划一项有害于他的罪恶活动。

而片中那条落难狗，是不是又在某种程度上隐喻着主角本身，我也看的是不甚了了。

当然，这些都不重要，甚至片中导演不无卖力的，对纽约这座奇怪的世界首都的悲剧情结的渲染也不那么重要。

重要的在于，我第一次在电影中找到这样贴合的共鸣，那种末日来临前，向你步步紧逼的——彻头彻尾，不可挽救的孤独。

面对庞大世界和匆匆人潮构成的铁般事实，深感自我的渺小与软弱。

以及最关键的，在这轮最毒的太阳还没升起之前，你已排除一切理智，认定自己会被烧成灰烬，这时所能做的，是在周遭路过的任何事物中间抓住什么，期望它能带你逃离，或者你能搭便车越界。

你已对不起，也不想要加入这现实生活，可你永远也没有那超人的力量，这时毁灭与放逐，就成了唯一的选择。

再也没有明天了，明天是属于别人的，而你只是不堪承受的，未曾谋面的重压与恐怖之下的齑粉。

那么逃开吧，你这被命运唾弃，却还以为在某一处能找得到怜悯的可怜虫。

去犯下那些匪夷所思的罪行，去败坏自己视若至宝的事物，所谓怯懦在这时最为真切，一旦生活出现不可弥合的裂痕，那就彻底毁坏、彻底夷灭，连同你苦心的经营或是一世的收藏。

当你已无可挽救，那就把你融化成汁的生活铸成另一柄尖刀，细细体味撕开咽喉的窒息，这种决绝的痛楚，就算只有一秒，你也会以为是永生的极乐。

至于以后，早就不是这样的人生所能够计算和掌控。

就像贩毒被查处，还有一个小时就得送上门去坐七年大牢的主角，彻底崩溃之后还能做什么？

恐惧是最后一刻才会排山倒海的巨兽，这时现实与想象的分野已不再清晰，而我内心与片中情绪场的烘托也终于抵达了一致：看着他瘫软在车厢里，漫无边际地幻想着洗心革面脱胎换骨的逃亡生涯，从最开始和老爸的惨然道别，到最后老情人竟然寻踪而至，重新开始世外桃源般的崭新人生。

屏幕前的我也终于不自觉讪笑片刻，如果不是被命运扼住了咽喉，怎会还有这样百转千回而终究柳暗花明的臆想。

逃，同时意味着勇敢和懦弱，意味着再也没有自信能承受接踵而至的现实之沉重。

当我想起那些瞬间，不断挣脱牢笼，也不断撕裂自己好不容易生长出的皮肤，我唯一足以自恃的，是尚觉年轻，哪怕前方云端和地狱两极颠簸。

至于代价，当时想来，不过咬一咬牙。

当所有人都在朝一个方向狂奔的时候，你嗤笑那是无谓的尽头，可有几分底气？

当你就此调转方向，去向你本不该奔赴的远方，你可曾想到你没有资格告别的，不仅是历年的温柔、沉淀的真切和转瞬之前还无限鲜活的过往。

那曾是你的名字和身体，灵魂和故乡，那些在暴雨旷野中纠缠生长的植物，那些就算是互相吞噬也不觉得满足的时光。

谁愿意残废的活着，所以任谁都有一手剪除回忆的利刃，你可以尽管逃开，逃开一万公里，一个纪元，你将永远生活在生活之外，那些早已湿透的引线，再也不会将你点燃，却是你呜咽在怕人的虚空之中时，唯一可供凭吊的镜框。

有一种力量，是你自己培育的仇敌，永不停息地蚕食着你的心脏，当你越来越无力，它竟然也变得有几分你爱人的模样，它冲你一笑，竟然同样能让你湿润眼眶。

在你终于老去之前，你永远体会不到一无所有的希望。

我知道情感都断裂了，笑声都枯萎了，只剩下与生俱来的丧心病狂，不时跳出来，指挥这场败落中的下一次夺路逃亡。

这时我把控制播放时间的滑动条拨来拨去，直到终于出现让我满足的，煞有介事的字样：“You forget your old life. You can’t come back. You can’t call. You can’t write. You never look back. You make a new life for yourself, and you live it. You live the life the way it should have been.”我觉得，这是一部关于绝望和逃离的电影，所以，也是一年之中我最喜欢的。

都说不要看剧情片了完全看不下去我会说嘛整部剧我都跳着看诺顿了眼神温柔笑容魅惑高高瘦瘦一身黑衣。。。

还牵着狗要是在大街上有这么一位我一定着迷了好吗！

诺顿真是个不可思议的演员如果一部戏里有他你所有的目光都放在他身上很难注意到其他的演员看到凤姐我也不怕不怕了