钦天奇谭

Watched GA (Grey's Anatomy) pilot again. I can't explain why I like this show so much. Maybe it attracted me of the unique life style as a surgeon? Great pressure with tough mentors, strong competition, long working hours, and unpredictable troubles involving taking or saving lives. Those are fresh and exciting to learn as a bystander. As an intern, unfortunately, it would be horrifying to experience.At the end of pilot, Meredith said 'I can't think of any reason why I wannt to be a surgeon. But I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game. And you either take that step forward, or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field'. Suddenly, I realized why I love this show, especially the part of the anatomy of herself. She keeps on questioning herself, and fears of not being good enough. She is just like me. Watching how she survives is just like watching myself. And finally, I figured out why I love my playing field, that I just wanna prove I can do it.

我第一次看到格蕾的时候还是大学二年级，因为当时新东方英文老师推荐这部片子，谁知一看就爱上了，不可自拔。

开始时候没日没夜得看了两季，后来忙着作业考试毕业就忘了，毕业来到温哥华之后日子过得没滋没味，又想起来看这部剧。

像小孩子攒糖吃那样，故意忍住好奇心，等新出了几集之后找个日子一气儿看完，然后再满怀期待下一次的到来。

昨天看土豆上有23、24的资源了，因为今天要考试，所以拼命忍住不看。

下午考完，从West Broadway一路晃晃悠悠往天车站走，竟然看到有一家专门卖医生和护士服装鞋子的店，玻璃上贴的海报就是亲爱的格雷。

门口的橱窗摆着看起来很舒服的白色鞋子，我也好想要一双迫不及待跑回家，开电脑，上土豆。

一开始是坐在凳子上看的，可是到那个男人开枪后，我就吓得抱着笔记本跑到床上，盖着被子，缩成一团揪心的看。

我还嘲笑自己说，傻瓜，他们是在演戏啊，可是还是攥紧双拳咬紧牙关屏住眼泪，他们陪了我那么久那么久，整整4年的时光啊，感觉就像成了彼此相熟的朋友，一举一动总牵心。

在看24集的时候，外面的天也一点点的黑下来，当结尾曲响起，没有来得及开灯的房间像是熄了灯的电影院，原来自己看电影也有这么曲终人散的感慨。

第七季的预告也没有让我感觉好一些。

躺在床上，以前格蕾里的一幕幕缓缓飘过，我想念那个漂亮的模特想念她明媚的笑，想念那个蓝色小鹿眼睛的男人，想念那个永远握着别人心的男人，想念他在婚礼上说给新娘的话。

但是最最想念的是BAILY打电话给她儿子时望着西雅图的夜色哼的那首歌：“爸爸的东西好，妈妈的东西妙，上帝总会给每个孩子，属于他自己的宝。

”没有人陪伴的日子里，我也常常这么唱给自己听。

格蕾每集的最后总会出现几句比较深刻的话，关于生活的，关于爱情的，关于幸福的，关于生命的，我总会从中得到点什么。

大学一开始看的时候，我最不喜欢的是chistina，觉得她自私又无情，可是看到后来，我最喜欢的角色却变成了她，她外表冷漠嘴上刻薄聪明又处处争先，她就像是住我每日微笑面具下的另一个我，不服输的我，苛求完美的我。

想着想着，就忍不住找出第一季来看，刚看了开头，眼泪就落下来了，故事是从五个朝气蓬勃的实习医生开始的，请注意，朝气蓬勃这个形容词，年轻多美好啊，为了一点感情彼此纠葛不清，为了争一个特殊的病人勾心斗角。

那时候他们面容姣好，周身洋溢着青春的幸福。

等看到第六季，MERE皱眉时候额心的那道纹让我觉得刺痛，我最近总盯着镜子看，发现我也有了这么不深不浅的一道，我以前在家的时候不该埋怨爸爸妈妈总是皱眉弄得眉心的皱纹怎么揉都揉不开。

现在我知道，这就是时间，摧枯拉朽的力量，岁月是一把太锋利的手术刀了，没有谁能在它下全身而退。

想起前几天老师讲她年轻时的故事，说她在30多岁的时候终于又遇见了她高中时期暗恋了很久很久的男生，但她怎么都不敢相信坐在她隔桌那个不修边幅言语粗鄙满脸酒气的男人，是那个高中时候清秀的抱着吉他唱歌的打篮球超好的拉风男孩。

就像是谁来跟大家开了场玩笑。

或许真的上帝在云端，只眨了一眨眼。

等多年以后的我，回国再见到你们的时候，是什么场景，我会不会变成一个一点都不漂亮不可爱也不幽默的平凡妇人了呢？

24岁，本命年，开始觉得明天的我永远不可能比今天更年轻，我开始恐慌了，不知道该怎么办，像我小时候觉得20岁多老啊，老得都可以去死了，可是转眼我都要奔三了。

另外一个让我难过的理由是，小时候我以为20岁的我就很了不起无所不能了。

可是事实上，快25的我，还抱着台破电脑靠在床上打字，一事无成。

如果可以，真的想在老去之前死去，就让生命永远停在最灿烂的时候。

我害怕未来。

世事那么无常，有谁知道明天会怎样。

要是格蕾里的年轻人们知道今天会面临死亡，5年前的今天他们还会不会走进这家医院呢？

可是生命里总有些人注定要相逢，有些又注定要离开。

前天无意逛到老公前女友的博客，发现她贴出了结婚照和婚礼时候的照片，还说年底就会有宝宝了，洋溢着幸福。

我从来没见过她，但是心里一直都感谢她。

都说每一个女人，都是男人的一所学校。

（可惜我不是一所好学校，我只会给人带来伤害。

）她教会了他怎么对女生耐心体贴，教会了他什么叫责任感，所以等我再遇见他的时候，他已经不是那个羞涩的不成熟的小男生，而是变成了一座高大的山，一个坚实的臂膀，一个宁静的港湾。

所以，是她错过了他，他才又遇见了我。

这样看来，似乎又要感谢时光，把他雕琢成优秀的老公，然后送到我的身旁。

可是我又会被岁月千刀万剐成什么样呢可不可以慢点再慢点儿，轻点再轻点儿。。。。。。

The best of this soap opera is voiceover in each episode. It intrigues me to scribble down every sentence of voiceover when watching it. It is food for thought. I like this way to say something about life, love, friend, job, responsibility, loneliness and so on in this series. It make me contemplating what has happened in my life.Attached is what I record, share with "同好":Season1 Episode 1: A hard Day’s nightThe game. They say either a person has what it takes to play, or they don't.There comes a moment when it's more than just a game. And you either take that step forward, or turn around and walk away.E5: “shake your groove thing”Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday, or if you get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean, seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. Kinda makes bikes and cookies look really really good, doesn't it?The scariest part about responsibility: when you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away.It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it, or we suffer the consequences. And still, adulthood has its perks. E6 “ If tomorrow never comes”A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. "Never leave that till tomorrow," he said, "which you can do today." This is the man who discovered electricity. You'd think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection. Sometimes, the fear is just of making a decision. Because, what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true. That, by the time the pain of not doing a thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor. And you thought I was speaking metaphorically.The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still, sometime we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.E07 “ The self destruct button”I mean, if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button? Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know... ...maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? "Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?" "Because it feels so good when I stop."E08 “Save me”You know how when you were a kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, Prince Charming, Who'd carry you away to a castle on a hill. You'd lie in bed at night and close your eyes, and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close, you could taste them. But eventually, you grow up. One day you open your eyes, and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely. Cause almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they'll open their eyes and it will all come true.E09 “who’s zooming who”Secrets can't hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing the lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the hospital...Well, that's a little different. One thing is certain. Whatever it is we're trying to hide, we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the problem with secrets. Like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything. Until you don't have room for anything else. Until you're so full of secrets, you feel like you're going to burst.The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free.Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control... ...you're not.Season 2E1 “Raindrops keep falling on my head”To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture and close. But sometimes, you're faced with a cut that won't heal. A cut that rips it's stitches wide open.The say practice makes perfect. Theory is, the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one. The better you get at remaining neutral, clinical. Cut, suture, close. And the harder it becomes to turn it off? to stop thinking like a surgeon. And remember what it means to think like a human being.E2 “Enough is enough (no more tears)”I have an aunt who, whenever she poured anything for you, would say, "Say when." My aunt would say, "Say when," and of course we never did. We don't say "when" because there's something about the possibility of more. More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better.There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times, there's no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless. And all we want is more.E3 “Make me lose control”Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain. You're 10 feet tall and bullet proof. And then you leave the O.R. And all that perfection. All that beautiful control just falls to crap.No one likes to lose control but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness. Of not being up to the task. And still there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning. And you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it. You fall. And its scary as hell. Except there's an upside to free falling. It's the chance you give your friends to catch you.E4” deny, deny, deny”The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed, and most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we wanna see and believe what we want to believe. And it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while, the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth, right in front of our faces.Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the damn bursts all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later, we have to put aside our denial ... and face the world head on gun's blazing. Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?E5 “Bring the pain”Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize...ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... And for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed. But sometimes, the pain gets to you when you least expect it. Hit's way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can't out run it. And life always make more.E6 “Into you like a Train”In general... people can be categorized in one of two ways. Those who love surprises, and those who don't. I don't. I've never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because, as surgeons we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know. Because when we aren't, people die and lawsuits happen. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Ok, so my point actually ... and I do have one. Has nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits or even surgeons. My point is this: whoever said what you don't know can't hurt you was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know we have what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients. And how to take care of each other. Eventually we even have to figure out... how to take care of ourselves. As surgeons we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark. Because in the dark, there maybe fear... ... but there's also hope.E8 “Let it Be”In the 8th grade, my English class had to read Romeo & Juliet. Then for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet. All the other girls were jealous but I had a slightly different take. I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters, she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have. Then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of 13, I was very clear. That love like life is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it's so romantic. Romeo & Juliet. True love. How sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison and go to sleep in a mausoleum ... ... she deserved whatever she got.Maybe Romeo & Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while. And then their time passed. If they could've known that beforehand maybe it would've all been ok. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was growing up I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone. And that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now I believe for the most part love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending ... most of the time. And that sometimes despite all your best choices and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway.E09: “Thanks for the memories”Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing. Happy. We're supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family, happy just to be alive... Whether we like it or not.Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful is recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciate small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing ... ... is reason enough to celebrate.E10 “Much too much”When you were a kid, it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and ate it until you got sick. In college it was the heady combo of youth, tequila and well you know... As a surgeon you take as much of the good as you can get... because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. Cause good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love is not always a good thing.How do you know how much is too much? Too much, too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask. And when is it all just too much to bear?E11 “Owner of a lonely heart”Forty years ago, The Beatles asked the world a simple question. They wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My latest theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More precisely the surgical wings of hospitals. As surgeons we ignore our own needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and families so we can save other people's friends and families. Which means that at the end of the day all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that.400 years ago another well known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course it was fancier when he said it. No man is an island entire unto himself. Boil down that island talk and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in. And let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have 4 legs. Someone to play with or run around with. Or just hang out.E12 “Grandma got run over by a reindeer”It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out, they actually go down. Experts think that people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason depression rates actually do spike at the holidays.There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what the fates hand you... ...and like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not ... ...you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you and clothe you and take care of you until your ready to go out into the world. ...and find your tribe.E13 “Begin the begin”Fresh starts. Thanks to the calendar, they happen every year. Just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year. Bringing on the great tradition of New Year's resolutions. Put your past behind you and start over. It's hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It's not a day on a calendar. Not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing, we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.E14 “Tell me sweet little lies”As doctors we're trained to skeptical because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is: every patient is a liar until proven honest. Lying is bad. Or so we're told. Constantly, from birth. Honesty is the best policy. The truth shall set you free. I chop down the cherry tree. Whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth, the truth freaking hurts.No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it. Eventually the lies fall away. Whether we like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie.E16: “It’s the end of the world”It's a look patients get in their eyes. There is a scent. The smell of death. Some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming. What's the one thing you've always dreamed of doing before you die? E17 “As we know it”In hospitals they say you know. You know when you're going to die. Some doctors say it's a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there's a scent. The smell of death. Something. There's just some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is heading for you. You feel it coming. Whatever it is. It's creepy. Because if you know. What do you do about? Forget about the fact you're scared out of your mind. If you knew this was your last day on Earth, how would you want to spend it?(现在似乎流行这样的假设，在北美大学，流行”last lecture”)E18 “Yesterday”After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here's what I've decided. There's no such thing as a grown up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us to truly, once and for all become an adult ... We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids. Running around the playground trying desperately to fit in.We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope. Against all logic. Against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope.E19 “ What have I done to deserve this”Ok so sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're gonna regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean maybe not regret, regret because at least you know we put ourselves out there. But still ... something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know that'll probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet, we do it anyway.What I'm saying is ... we reap what we sow. What comes around goes around. It's karma and any way you slice it ... ... karma sucks. Like I was saying ... ... payback's a bitch.One way or another, our karma, will leave us to face ourselves. We can look our karma in the eye or we can wait for it to sneak up on us from behind. One way or another, our karma will always find us. And the truth is as surgeons we have more chances than most to set the balance in our favor. No matter how hard we try, we can't escape our karma. It follows us home. I guess we can't really complain about karma. It's not unfair. It's not unexpected. It just ... evens the score. And even when we're about to do something we know will tempt karma to bite us in the ass ... ... well it goes without saying ... ...we do it anyway.E20 “ Band Aid covers the bullet hole”As doctors patients are always telling us how they would do our jobs. Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and send me home. It's easy to suggest a quick solution when you don't know much about the problem. When you don't understand the underlying cause ... ... or just how deep the wound really is. The first step towards a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But that's not what people want to hear. We're supposed to forget the past that landed us here, ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix.As doctors, as friends, as human beings we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you, shifts. And knocks you off your feet. If you're lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound. Something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal.E21 “Superstition”My college campus has a magic statue. It's a long-standing tradition for students to rub it's nose for good luck. My freshman roommate really believed in the statue's power... ...and insisted on visiting it to rub it's nose before every exam. Studying might have been a better idea. She flunked out her sophomore year. But the fact is we all have little superstitious things that we do. If it's not believing in magic statues, it's avoiding sidewalk cracks, or always putting out left shoe on first. Knock on wood. Step on a crack, break your mother's back. The last thing we want to do is offend the gods.Superstition lies in the space between what we can control... and what we can't. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. But does saying it 33 times really help? Is anyone really listening? And if no one's listening, why do we bother doing those strange things at all? We rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers. And that life works in mysterious ways. Don't diss the juju...from wherever it comes.E22 “ The name of the game”A good basketball game can have us all on the edge of our seats. Games are all about the glory, the pain and the play-by-play. And then there are the more solitary games. The games we each play all by ourselves. The social games, the mind games, we use them to pass the time. To make life more interesting. To distract us from what's really going on. There are those of us who love to play games. Any game. And there are those of us who love to play...a little too much.Life is not a spectator sport. Win, lose or draw...the game is in progress...whether we want it to be or not. So go ahead: argue with the refs, change the rules...cheat a little...take a break...and tend to your wounds. But play. Play hard. Play fast. Play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. Ok, so it's not whether you win or lose...it's how you play the game. Right?E23 “Blues for sister someone”The key to being a successful intern is what we give up. Sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment. That moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon. There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice. And then there are the sacrifices that you can't even figure out why you're making.A wise man once said, "You can have anything in life, if you will sacrifice everything else for it." What he meant is, nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good, means letting go of what you know is right. And letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming. When we don't have time to come up with a strategy, to pick a side or measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us, and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.E24 “Damage Case”We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves. To other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done. Or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can't even see.We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood. Then, as grown-ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then...we set about the business of fixing...whatever we can.E25 “17 seconds”In life, we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones: Gluttony, pride, lust. But the sin you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger's not that dangerous. That we can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior... ...it did make the top seven.So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really. You give in to a sin like envy or pride then you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself, and probably one or two others. But anger...anger is the worst. The mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does, you can take an awful lot of other people with you.E26 “Deterioration of the fight or flight response”Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive. We can't control it.Season 3E01 “Time has come today”In the OR, time loses all meaning. In the midst of sutures and saving lives, the clock ceases to matter. 15 minutes. 15 hours. Inside the OR, the best surgeons make time fly. Outside the OR however, time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us, it seems to play tricks. Slowing down, hovering....until it freezes, leaving us stuck in a moment, unable to move in one direction or the other.Time flies Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time Time to stand up... time to grow up. Time to let go.E02 “I am a tree”At any moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don't have control over most of them. When we get a chill, goosebumps. When we get excited, adrenaline. The body naturally follows it's impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. Of course, sometimes we have impulses we'd rather not control. That we later wish we had.The body is a slave to its impulses. But the thing that makes us human... Is what we can control. after the storm. After the rush. After the heat of the moment has passed. We can cool off and clean up the messes we've made. We can try to let go of what was. And then again...E03 “Sometimes a fantasy”Surgeons usually fantasize about wild and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant; we splice them open with a butter knife. Replace a valve with a hollowed-out stick of carrot. But every now and then, some other kind of fantasy slips in. Most of our fantasies dissolve when we wake. Banished to the back of our mind. But sometimes we're sure, if we try hard enough, we can live the dream.The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good. And twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad. And no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something. And there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's OK. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.E04 “What I am”At some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are as doctors, and the kind of surgeons they're going to become If you ask them they'll tell you. They're going to be General surgeons. Orthopedic surgeons. Neurosurgeons. Distinctions that do more than describe their areas of expertise. They help define who they are. Because Outside the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no clue who they are, they're afraid to find out.E05 “Oh, the guilt”First, do no harm. As doctors we pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens. Then guilt happens, and there's no oath for how to deal with that.First, do no harm. Easier said than done. We can take all the oaths in the world but the fact is... most of us do harm all the time.Sometimes even when we're trying to help, we do more harm than good. And then the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt is entirely up to you. We're left with a choice... Either you can let guilt thrown you back into the behavior that got you in trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt, and do your best to move on.E06 “Let the angels commit”To make it... really make it as a surgeon, it takes major commitment. We have to be willing to pick up that scalpel that may or may not do more damage than good. It's all about being committed. Cause if we're not, we have no business picking up that scalpel in the first place.There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make. True commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully.E07 “Where the boys are”As surgeons we're trained to look for disease. Sometimes, the disease is easily detected. Most of the time, we need to go step by step. First, probing the surface, looking for any sign of trouble. A mole or a lesion, or an unwelcome lump. Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody just by looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell us a whole different story.Not all wounds are superficial. Most wounds run deeper than imagined. You can't see them with the naked eye. And then there are the wounds that take us by surprise. The trick to any wound or disease is to dig down deep and find the real source of the injury. And once you've found it... try like hell to heal that sucker.E08 “staring at the sun”Many people don't know that the human eye has a blind spot in its field of vision. There's a part of the world that we are literally blind to. The problem is, sometimes our blind spots shield us from things that really shouldn't be ignored. Sometimes our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny.When it comes to our blind spots, maybe our brains aren't compensating. Maybe they're protecting us.E09 “From a whisper to a scream”As doctors, we know everybody's secrets. Their medical histories, sexual histories, confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a 10-blade. And every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets. We have to. But not all secrets can be kept.In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust. And then there are some wounds that are so deep, so profound, that there's no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait.E10 “Don’t stand so close to me”At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance, and pretend not to care about each other...it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to. and once we've chosen those people we tend to stick close by. no matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping.E13 “Great Expectations”No one believes their life will turn out just kind of ok. We all think we're going to be great. And from the day we decide to become surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, the difference we will make. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go, and then we get there.We all think we're going to be great. And we feel robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes, the expected pales in comparison to the unexpected. You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the unexpected is just what keeps us steady...standing...still. The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives.E14 “wishing and hoping”As surgeons we live in a world of worst-case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn't happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs ... ...and suddenly best-case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then...something amazing happens. And against our better judgment, we start to have hope.As doctors, we're trained to give our patients just the facts. But what are patients really want to know is. Will the pain ever go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? What are patients really want to know is... ...is their hope. But inevitably there are times when you find yourself in the worst-case scenario. When the patient's body has betrayed them and all the science we have to offer has failed them. When the worst-case scenario comes true, clinging to hope is all we have left.E15 “ walk on water”Disappearances happen in science, disease can suddenly fade away. Tumors go missing. We open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It's unexplained, it's rare, bit it happens. We call it misdiagnosis say we never saw it, any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didn't know we had disappears, do we miss it?E16 “drowning on dry land”Like I said disappearances happen. Pains go phantom, blood stops running, and people fade away. There's more I have to say. So much more. But I've disappeared.E17 “some kind of miracle”There are medical miracles. Being worshippers at the alters of science we don't like to believe miracles exist, but they do. Things happen...we can't explain them, we can't control them, but they do happen. Miracles do happen in medicine. They happen every day just not always when we need them to happen.At the end of a day like this, a day when so many prayers are answered and so many aren't... We take our miracles where we find them. We reach across the gap and sometimes against all odds, against all logic, we touch.E18 “scars and souvenirs”People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories... ...diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal leaving nothing behind but a scar, but some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere... ...and though the cuts long gone... ...the pain still lingers.What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful... :...or old wounds that should have healed years ago and never did. Maybe our old wounds teach us something... ...they remind us of where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Something's we just have to learn over and over and over again.E19 “my favorite mistake”Surgeons always have a plan, where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch. But even with the best plans, complications can arise, things can arise and suddenly you're caught with your pants down.The thing about plans is...they don't take into account the unexpected. So, when we're thrown a curve ball, whether it's in the OR, or in life. We have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to Plan B and make the best of it. And sometimes... ...what we want... ...is exactly... ...what we need. But sometimes... Sometimes what we need is a new plan.E20 “time after time”A patient's history is as important as their symptoms. It's what helps us decide if heartburn's a heart attack, if a headache's a tumor. Sometimes patients will try to rewrite their own histories. They'll claim they don't smoke or forget to mention certain drugs, which in surgery can be the kiss of death. We can ignore it all we want. But our history, eventually, always comes back to haunt us.Some people believe that without history our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose. Do we fall back on what we know... Or do we step forward to something new. It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us, what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time. So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we're making today.E21 “Desire”As interns we know what we want...to become surgeons. And will do anything to get there... Suffer through killer exams, endure 100-hour weeks, stand for hours on end operating rooms. You name it we'll do it. The tough part though is reconciling this huge thing we want, to be surgeons, with everything else we want.To often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken; it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be...(Addison pauses in front of the hospital)...the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.E22 “The other side of the life”The dream is this: that we'll finally be happy when we reach our goals... ...find the guy, finish our internship. That's the dream; then we get there and if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because if this is the dream then we'd like to wake up... ...now please.At some point, maybe we accept that the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves the reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But the strongest of us, the most determined of us, we hold on to the dream. Or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We awake to find ourselves...Against all odds...Feeling hopeful. And if we're lucky, we realize...In the face of everything, in the face of life...The true dream...Is being able to dream at all.E23 “Testing”A surgeon's education never ends. Every patient, every symptom, every operation...is a test, a chance for us to demonstrate how much we know...and how much more we have to learn.

很仔细很小心翼翼的看完S4结局，充满希望的看下去，直到最后的KISS带来本集的大高潮。

What dose the KISS going to be that would make u lean to ur tele.Here we got it！

最先的来自callie&hahn。

I want to tell you……callie没有继续她的话，而是用一个KISS说明了自己的态度。

不要去在意别人的目光，勇敢的面对自己的感情，I think it's better to be honest.callie这么对水泥病人的女孩说，我想当她说出那番话的那一刻，自己也明白了许多。

mark还是很可爱，he think he is grown，^_^ 这两个小时里还真觉得他像个小孩，不断用hahn来挑逗callie，鼓励callie面对真爱。

这三个人的牵连啊！

因为一分而没有通过考试，我想每个人都感同身受吧。

G的表现很真实，那种沮丧以及得到又一次机会时的满怀信心的雀跃，而lexie一如既往的坦诚和活力。

The KISS between G&Lexie.这甚至不能算是一个吻，但是L，我们看到她的留恋，她的一刹那的呆滞，伸手抚摸自己的唇畔。

她在回味！

也许，那是S5新的故事。

Chief is back home. I'm not asking u, I'm telling U!一直觉得CHIEF在剧中很多时候处在被“压迫”状态，被老婆抛弃，总有不同的 attending，resident和interns时不时的挑战他的权威，很有喜剧元素，但是魄力不足。

但是喜欢极了今天最后他对ADALE的那番话，MAN!而显然ADALE也重新被自己的丈夫感动，that KISS,如此的情不自禁那样的充满喜悦！

　其实对EVA是没有偏见的，但是今天那么欢喜的一集里，那是唯一让我觉得暗淡的场景。

不断的自欺欺人。

而ALEX也终于在IZZ的不懈努力坚持eva's sick的情况下爆发。

第一次，他对他人说了那么多自己的家庭，他的过去。

我想IZZ是能理解的，雷同的生活背景，所以她不放弃帮助ALEX，在ALEX忍无可忍大骂stupid bitch后仍旧坚持的让alex看清真相。

他俩的KISS让我心酸。

alex几乎是流着泪恳求着izz的抚慰。

izz的犹豫，却在最后alex的眼神中瓦解。

那是怎么样一个场景！

把自己深深埋藏起来的alex在izz面前毫不掩饰自己的情绪，please……他恳求izz 的抚慰，哪怕是one night，当时他的心里该有多痛苦！

（之前剧透看到他俩的吻，以为他们终要back 2gether，但是看了这集，我只是觉得，他们真的是最能够互相帮助，互相理解的人，无所谓是否能再次成为恋人了。

得友如此！

）　mere&dere,everything about the candle house.其实直到最后之前，他俩都是犹豫不决的，12个失败的病例，甚至让一向自信的dere都觉得scared。

mere和chief的谈话是一个转机（虽然我觉得那个转变太戏剧性），让她发现自己的母亲其实不想死，她只是太想得到richard的爱。

我觉得这件事情像极了mere对yang的婚礼抱有的期待那样。

她一直想努力的生活下去，努力去的争取，但是自小她的身边有太多的dark&twist，她需要找到让她勇敢继续下去的榜样。

yang失败的婚礼让她对dere更加的游疑，但是她母亲这件事情让她看到了希望。

ellis也争取过，只是她用错了方法，她最后放弃了争取。

而后，更大的惊喜，脑瘤的少女清醒了！

就在那一刻，她和dere仿佛都下定决心。

相互的找寻那么久，真是再美不过的相遇。

通过dere的视线，mere出现在一片蜡烛中，正不停的拨弄手机，踱步，懊恼的念念有词。

当她看到dere，太动情的表现：she yelled！

那么叫人始料不及却感人。

where have u being, i v been waitting and waitting for u. and i did this stuip,embarrassing,humiliating,...thing.and i just wantto tell u,this over here,is our kechien,this s our living room,and over there,that's the room our kids could play.i had this whole thing about that i will going to build our house,but i wont going to bulid the house because i m a surgeon.and now i am here feeling like a lay mass loser……而后，dere也向大家展示了他的决心（大段言论，实在懒得再做听写工作了）。

最后，the KISS！

如此的水到渠成，让我忍不住的欢呼出声。

他们的美好生活，建立在那么浪漫的烛光之上！

不得不承认dere最后go to find rose让人觉得遗憾，虽然那是为了他们的将来，但是我还是有点小担心啊。

S4在那一刻戛然而止，what going to happen @ S5?似乎忘了一个，或者说很多的KISS，关于这集的病人。

这里涉及太多的专业术语，没怎么看懂，但是那对脑瘤病人的：I'm not finished yet,i'm not finished loving you.还有水泥小伙子和小姑娘的the whole life KISS，无论是对剧情的意义还是其感情本身都是巨大的。

The KISS thing，有人痛苦的KISS，有人MAN的KISS，有人勇敢的KISS，有人希望的KISS，有人try to KISS，有人can't help to KISS,and they are all full of love！

最后还有yang，the lonely guy，我们只能期待S5，hope her a better life。

我怎么都忘不了grey对Derek郑重其事地这样说.直到现在,她的神情,口吻,声音,都不停回荡在我脑海里,像一部自动播放机,反复而强烈.有一点哀怨,多一点坚定,有一点撒娇,多一点坚持.坚持.是的.在这里我想说的是,对于每天第一个迎接我们在真实世界苏醒过来的太阳,对于偶尔一场来去无意地霜降,对于繁华世界瞬息万变的人们,对于纷繁复杂需要面对的现实,对于更多不由自主的选择与被选择...我们能不能也大声地,深情地说一句:choose me! pick me! love me! 呢?总有人在说,生活总是要继续的.诚然如此,但我们能不能不要半推半就的生活?我不想在经历了这样一些挫折之后跟自己说我是不行的,原来我这么糟糕.我不想在经历一些失去之后跟自己说这是注定的,不是你的就不是你的.我不想在每天醒来之后不知道自己今天应该做些什么,不知道哪些是我真的愿意去做的.我不想在每天睡觉之前对于明天是没有任何期待的,甚至都没有一件事能够让我醒来后从床上利索地下来开始行动的....我通通不想...因为我要好好生活.要让温暖的太阳选择我,要让美好的运气选择我,要让胜利的快乐选择我,要让相聚的幸福选择我,要让旅行的喜悦选择我...要让我的每一天都值得.去期待,去到达,去完成.假如我还有80年的生命..80年就是960月..就是29200天...接下来,我要好好爱我的每一个1/29200.我要对你说:I love you and i choose you.Please,pick me and love me.

大家还记得yang的妈妈吗？

那个搞装饰的母亲。

周采芹，著名国际演员，周信芳的女儿。

早年曾就读于上海中西女中，周采芹十七岁赴英深造，毕业于英国皇家戏剧学院。

七十年代，获美国塔夫特大学戏剧硕士。

自1960年以来，周采芹在西方的舞台和银幕上取得了辉煌的成功。

1959年在伦敦出演舞台剧《苏丝黄的世界》，连演三年，场场爆满。

在这个英国舞台剧最兴旺的年代，周采芹红极一时。

1972年，在英国电视剧《斗争对象》中主演王光美一角被英国电影电视演员协会提名为当年最佳电视演员。

作为最早参与西方影视剧的中国演员，周采芹的简历中有很多第一：· 英国皇家戏剧学院第一个中国学生· 第一个登上英国伦敦西区舞台主演的中国演员· 第一个在英国出版中英文唱片的中国歌手，其中英文版本的“第二春”一曲曾在亚洲连续两年独占排行榜首位· 第一位中国“007女郎”· 第一个被提名英国最佳电视演员的中国演员 · 1980年回国在中央戏剧学院执教，成为第一个到该校执教的“回归”专家· 英国皇家戏剧学院的第一名中国院士· 首个亚洲演员在伦敦和纽约两地先后领衔主演舞台剧，也是首个在剧院外设霓虹灯名字的亚洲演员 作为演员周采芹 Tsai Chin的电影作品(数量：34)Year of the Fish --- (2007) Hollywood Chinese --- (2007) 舞会战士 Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior --- (2006) 007：皇家赌场/007大战皇家赌场/007之皇家赌场 Casino Royale --- (2006) 翻译风波/翻译员/致命译电/双面翻译/叛译者 The Interpreter --- (2005) 艺伎回忆录/一个艺伎的回忆 Memoirs of a Geisha --- (2005) 实习医生格蕾 "Grey's Anatomy" --- (2005) 爱伦的日记 The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer --- (2003) Long Life, Happiness & Prosperity --- (2002) Inside 'You Only Live Twice' --- (2000) The Gold Cup --- (2000) 冰冻星球 Titan A.E. --- (2000) Journey from the Heart --- (2000) My American Vacation --- (1999) The Magic Pearl --- (1997) 红色角落 Red Corner --- (1997) Crowfoot --- (1995) The West Side Waltz --- (1995) 喜福会 The Joy Luck Club --- (1993) Rentadick --- (1972) Folterkammer des Dr. Fu Man Chu, Die --- (1969) The Virgin Soldiers --- (1969) 魔宫煞星 The Blood of Fu Manchu --- (1968) The Vengeance of Fu Manchu --- (1967) 007系列:雷霆谷/你只能活两次 You Only Live Twice --- (1967) The Brides of Fu Manchu --- (1966) 放大/爆炸/春光乍泄 Blowup --- (1966) Invasion --- (1965) 不死毒王 The Face of Fu Manchu --- (1965) The Cool Mikado --- (1962) The Treasure of San Teresa --- (1959) Violent Playground --- (1958) 六福客栈 The Inn of the Sixth Happiness --- (1958) 扬子江突围记/逃出铁幕 Yangtse Incident: The Story of H.M.S. Amethyst --- (1957)

在看Grey's Anatomy第二季22集，Yang负责给一位有强迫症的病人听诊，他不停拨弄灯的线控开关。

Yang有点不耐烦说能不能停下来，病人说我也想，但抱歉不能，Yang没办法略带厌恶表情叹了口气转身走开。

病人对旁边的George说她瞧不起我，George否认。

“我知道她是，三年来我见得多了，特别是最像我的人反而最讨厌我。

”接着问Yang：“你是A型血，成绩全优(straight A)，一直是班上最好的学生?”Yang：“是。

”病人：“只是你把你的强迫意识用在了有创造性的方面，我们是同一类人，这就是你无法忍受我的原因。

”Yang是典型的亚裔美国人，融合了东亚人的勤奋刻苦，又有美国人的aggressive。

她是所有实习生中最勤奋的，每天到得最早，病例背得最用心，不放弃任何一个上手术台的机会。

最初时George觉得压力太大说外科医生可能不适合自己，Yang就雄心勃勃地说外科是最hot的，是有男人味的，是海军陆战队，不适合那些娘娘腔。

她从不收拾屋子，把所有时间和精力都投入到工作上。

她把Burke的头巾放在储物柜里，每天激励自己要成为最伟大的外科医生。

总之，她是优秀的，始终追求卓越的那类人。

读书时听过一种说法叫“优秀是一种习惯”，这是一种看似谦逊实际很霸道的说法，我曾经相信而且羡慕，有些人似乎从不认真念书，但考试总是第一，有人气质就是不同，天生的领导者。

后来有机会跟一些牛X人物或并肩作战，或成为对手，或最终超越，才发现这是一种很装事儿的说法，他们都不像外表看起来那么轻松，私底下也在不停地自我激励，也有脆弱消极的一面，毕竟天才非常有限。

追求卓越是一种精神上的强迫行为，习惯于完美的做事方式，不愿让他人失望，不喜欢庸碌无为，严重时身不由己。

典型的强迫症会不自主地把一件事重复若干次，比如片中的病人问OR是否干净：“Is it clean,clean,clean?"Dr. McDreamy心领神会答道："It is clean,clean,clean".可见Sherperd的类型。

Alex: [one on one meeting with the Chief] I went to college on a wrestling scholarship. I played baseball, some basketball. But we'll go with football. Chief: What the hell does football have to do with who cut the LVAD wires? Alex: Let's say you were drafted to a team that wasn’t your first pick. You know, you don't like the players. You hate the way they play the game. You even think the quarterback is full of crap. The quarterback's a pain in the ass you don't owe a damned thing to. But, it's your team. You don't quit. You don't talk to the press. You don't bitch to the coach. You just, you just go out there every Sunday and you make the blocks and you take the hits and you, you play to win. You show up and you suit up and you play, because it's your freaking team. Chief: [one on one meeting with Cristina] I know your type. You're a surgical junkie. Cristina: Yes sir? Chief: I'm just saying, it's not going to be easy for you to be away from the OR that long. Cristina: No sir. Chief: And if you want to get back to the OR, you're going to tell me what I need to know, aren't you? Cristina: You're right, it's not easy for me to be away from the OR. And it's not easy for me to sit in front of you, or any other authority figure, for that matter, and not be able to give you the exact answer that you want to hear. I'm the one with the answers. I've always been the one with the answers. But right now, sir, I don't have any. Chief: Dr. Yang. Cristina: How do you keep your edge sir? Because I've watched you and you've been doing this a long time, and you're clean...you're focused, you are the job, nothing gets to you. And the thing is, sir, I was like that...until I got here, until I actually started doing this job and now everything is--is fuzzy and... Chief: That’s beside the point. Cristina: No, see, sir, this is the point. Because I can't tell you, I can't tell you what happened in that room. And before I could have; no guilt, no loyalties, no problem. Before--before I wouldn't have even been in that room. I wouldn't have gotten involved. I would have never frozen in surgery, and I would have told him what I thought he should do. I had an edge, sir. I had an edge, and I've lost it, and I need it. I need it back. So, if you could just tell me, how you keep yours and how not to be affected, I know I could be a great surgeon. So if you could just give me the answers, I would really appreciate it. Chief: You're excused Dr. Yang. Cristina: But-- Chief: You're excused. Cristina: I'll tell you, I'll tell you who cut the LVAD wires if you'll please-- Chief: No you won't, I don't want to know. Not from you. Yeah, I have the answers, but I can't tell them to you. I'm not going to be responsible for you becoming less human. Izzie: [one on one meeting with the Chief] I'm a pretty girl. Chief: What? Izzie: I'm not being arrogant, it’s just, it’s just kind of a fact. For a long time I made a career from my looks, so I get it, I'm a pretty girl. And not in a "from a certain angle" way, in an obvious way. It’s the blonde thing and the big boobs thing, big boobs are a key to obvious pretty if you know what I'm saying. Chief: Dr. Stevens. Izzie: It’s how men see me. I'm not a smart girl or an interesting girl, I'm a pretty girl. The blonde and the boobs it confuses guys into thinking that I'm someone else. And I'm used to it. And I'm used to them walking away when they realize… But then Denny goes and asks me to marry him. Chief: Is that why you cut the wires? Izzie: He doesn't make me feel like I'm a pretty girl. He makes me feel like… like me. I think he might know me. And so, if I did cut the LVAD wire, and I'm not saying that I did, but if I did, then no, I don't feel guilty. And I know that I should. And I would if it were anybody else. But I can't feel anything but happy. George: [one on one meeting with the Chief] Aren't you gonna say anything or [pause] I'm not gonna break [pause] I'm starting to get a little freaked out, but I'm not gonna break. It’s not because I don't care, because I do care what you think about me, I do. Care. I just can't tell you want you want to hear. Which seems to be a theme in my life right now. Just because you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to, you can want to very much. You can be with a person and be happy with them and not love them. And you can love somebody and not want to be with them. You don't need to love someone to want them. Now that's frustrating, when what your brain tells you you want and what you actually want don't match up. It’s exhausting. And, well, it’s complicated. But that's life. And life... sucks. Chief: [one on one meeting with Meredith] [as Meredith is staring off] I've known you for a long time. And I know your mother and father. And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you did not cut those LVAD wires. Meredith, I need you to tell me who did it. Meredith: I've been going over this and over this in my mind trying to piece this together. It was you, you're the reason my parents broke up. And it wasn't just an affair, she really loved you. It wasn't just this cheap thing where she didn’t tell you she was married. It wasn't all a lie. She left her husband for you. But you stayed with your wife, because it was the right thing to do. Maybe safe, but she was the right person for you to be with. Let’s face it, my mother, nothing wrong with being safe, being with the good guy because he’s good and we are talking about forever here. You've never regretted your decision. You've never looked back... Right?

GA在实习医生紧张的生活中加入了幽默的元素和人性的分析。

我觉得第二季是到目前最出色的，尤其是火车车祸，炸弹，大结局这几集，都无可挑剔。

如果原本有看了第一季觉得一般的朋友，只要看了这几集肯定无法忘怀。

GA的人物、对白和配乐都很出色，唯一希望就是第三季少一些琼瑶戏，多一些出彩的病例。

希望“越狱”热潮中，GA能被更多人所识货。

GA专题：http://www.meijumi.com/default.asp?cat=16

追了两年的《Grey`s anatomy》，关于一群外科实习医生的工作以及爱情的故事。

国内外的医疗环境虽然不一样，但从他们身上，总会不多不少的找得到我当外科实习生的影子，有些事情也深有感触。

听说《Grey` anatomy》还刚获得了2007艾美奖的最佳剧情奖，真是可喜可贺。

在《Grey`s anatomy》的第三季，16集中，一如既往扮演一个悲情角色的Grey Meredith被她悉心救护的病人跘倒掉进水里，扮演受惊吓后对周围事物全无反应的无名氏小女孩，在她掉下水后，仿佛对世界绝了缘，她恰如其分的出色演出，让大家为Meredith的生死捏了一把汗。

但故事发展下去，其实明眼人都会猜得到，Meredith是无论如何都不会与我们告别的，在最紧急的当头，还是王子会挺身而出去拯救公主。

当Shepherd把Meredith从水中打捞起来时，面色苍白的Meredith让扰攘的世间刹那停顿下来，在死亡的面前，一切都显得如此脆弱。

然而在17集中，用了整部的时间去交待Meredith的死而复生，有点冗长，但并不显得拖沓。

更难得的是，除剧情安排得合情理之外，众人合力的表演亦有意料之外的惊喜。

面对自己最爱的人，一向自信的Shepherd亦变得手足无措，只能呆坐一旁抱头默哀。

但当中表演出彩的不是的刻薄的Bailey，不是坚韧的Webber，不是冷静的Burke，不是表现各异的Izzie，Geroge，或Karev，而是一向冷酷自负的Yang，他在大家已进行了四轮CPR，正准备放弃的时候，用她那古怪的语调，并带着扭曲的表情向诸位上级医师喊出“Try again”，不得不老实说，在这一刻，我真的是被感动了。

随之而来的结局其实也一早知道，难逃出主角不能死这个俗套，然而，编剧围绕这个结局，真的在很多小细节上花了心思，令人不得不为其细腻的思路击节叫好。

当一切停下来之后，暗自想了想，如果换成是我，在生与死的边缘，是否会有人为我喊出这一句“Try again”。