实习医生格蕾第一季

我怎么都忘不了grey对Derek郑重其事地这样说.直到现在,她的神情,口吻,声音,都不停回荡在我脑海里,像一部自动播放机,反复而强烈.有一点哀怨,多一点坚定,有一点撒娇,多一点坚持.坚持.是的.在这里我想说的是,对于每天第一个迎接我们在真实世界苏醒过来的太阳,对于偶尔一场来去无意地霜降,对于繁华世界瞬息万变的人们,对于纷繁复杂需要面对的现实,对于更多不由自主的选择与被选择...我们能不能也大声地,深情地说一句:choose me! pick me! love me! 呢?总有人在说,生活总是要继续的.诚然如此,但我们能不能不要半推半就的生活?我不想在经历了这样一些挫折之后跟自己说我是不行的,原来我这么糟糕.我不想在经历一些失去之后跟自己说这是注定的,不是你的就不是你的.我不想在每天醒来之后不知道自己今天应该做些什么,不知道哪些是我真的愿意去做的.我不想在每天睡觉之前对于明天是没有任何期待的,甚至都没有一件事能够让我醒来后从床上利索地下来开始行动的....我通通不想...因为我要好好生活.要让温暖的太阳选择我,要让美好的运气选择我,要让胜利的快乐选择我,要让相聚的幸福选择我,要让旅行的喜悦选择我...要让我的每一天都值得.去期待,去到达,去完成.假如我还有80年的生命..80年就是960月..就是29200天...接下来,我要好好爱我的每一个1/29200.我要对你说:I love you and i choose you.Please,pick me and love me.

addison的出场其实不怎么讨巧。

正当meredith和derek终于冲破了很多阻力决心面对自己的真实情感的时候，几乎是从天而降的她带着一种戏虐的表情盯着meredith说“原来你就是那个缠着我老公的婊子”。

她是与丈夫最好的朋友偷情的妻子，她是想要把丈夫从新女朋友手中抢回来的妻子，她是最后终于无奈认输黯然离开的迷人女子，她是首屈一指的妇产科医生却总也找不到属于自己的幸福。

我原来认为自己应该讨厌这样的角色，一个对婚姻不忠却还趾高气扬的女人。

可是，其实她不是，专业，冷漠，骄傲只是她的面具，通过“坏”的那一面透露出来的可爱与直率，让人觉得更为难能可贵。

她是一个感情丰沛的在丈夫的冷漠之中迷失了方向的女人她是一个哪怕只要有一线希望都不会轻易走开的坚强女人她是一个敢于直面自己的错误并愿意牺牲一切的勇敢女人她是一个不会主动去伤害情敌甚至还会保护她的大度女人她是一个认输时候仍然可以优雅微笑坦然利落的大方女人她是Addison Montgomery，她很专业，她是Seattle grace hospital里唯一能有实力竞争主任的女医生她很性感，人人都说她虽然有点神经质，但是非常hot她很美，大眼睛，棕红色的头发，喜欢穿黑色衣服，身材完美到几乎无懈可击，既不像meredith那样瘦得干巴巴，又不是izzie的baby fat她的心里面有伤口，她的丈夫当着她的面说爱另一个女人，她满心欢喜地以为可以和alex开始一段美好的感情却被残忍地告知“你永远都不是我的女朋友”她眼睁睁地将自己完美的丈夫拱手相让，在离婚协议书上签上自己的名字她眼睁睁地失去了Mark和alex，前者是不想让他为难，后者完全是情欲作怪她想要一个孩子，想要生活能有寄托，可是却得到了再也不能生育的残酷消息其实她是脆弱的，只是被掩埋在她的强势之下，每当看到她略带酸涩的自我解嘲，都会觉得心中最柔软的角落被人揪起。

她就像是生活在周围的最普通的女子，如此真实，带着那么点瑕疵不加任何修饰的率真。

因此她的无助与彷徨，才那样地让人感同身受。

所以，她去LA重新开始她的新生活，她是对的。

她从纽约跨越整个美国大陆来到西雅图寻找幸福，但是却在她的心上划下了最沉重的伤口。

那么好的她，完全值得有一段不一样的人生。

闻名遐迩的妇产科专家终于去了一个名不见经传的私人诊所。

她需要为自己疗伤，她再也不需要地位，财富或者事业上的发展机会了，其实她只是一个普通的女人，寻找爱，寻找可以驻足的风景，寻找那个可以一生相守的人。

addison，祝你幸福。

请你幸福。

you deserve better。

最近回家都看格蕾，几乎每次都看到落泪，太多感人的故事。

最近看的几个，1.有患上严重肺部呼吸道疾病的一对，男孩终于等到了移植新肺的机会，但被医生发现他女朋友也有同样疾病而这种病在病友之间会互相传染并且加重病情。

医生坚持不肯换肺除非他们分开。

最后他们分开，女孩坐在医院门外等到男孩的手术成功。

小grey对她说的那段话让我很感动，个人觉得这算是她在剧中台词最好的部分，没有之一。

It always feel like that, there is only one person in this world to love. And then you find somebody else, and it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place.2.有一对老夫妇，妻子被查出绝症将不久于人世。

医生不忍心告诉老太太就跟她丈夫先说了。

丈夫说，你能不能不要告诉她，她知道了以后肯定会很伤心很害怕的。

我们还要去威尼斯呢，因为据说在叹息桥下牵手，下辈子还能在一起。

医生感动的答应了。

但是医院的规定是告诉病人病情是医生的职责。

于是被迫医生只能把病情如实告诉了老太太。

她出乎意料地平静，说，你还没告诉我丈夫吧，你能不能不要告诉他，我们还要去威尼斯呢。

因为据说在叹息桥下牵手，下辈子就还能在一起。。

3.这一集可能很多人都觉得不好看，Arizona申请到了儿童基金去非洲，Torres不想去但是为了维持两人的关系也决定跟她一起去。

她一直在给自己做心理建设说服自己，一直说去那儿也很好，没那么多病人我能更好地专注研究。

但是在机场正当她又一次自我安慰的时候，Arizona生气地说你的坏情绪破坏了我的心情我的旅行我不需要你陪我去非洲我们结束了。

Torres哭的很伤心用了很多办法才让自己心情变好，却有一天Arizona出现在门口对她说我不能离开你。

Torres听完就关上了门。

原来，爱不是你回来，我就可以继续的。

结束了就是结束了。

这只是一个小插曲，却让我哭到不能自已。

4.一个妇人在过去的七年每年同一天都会因为心脏病进医院，医生问她是不是那天曾发生过什么特别的事情。

她摇头说没有，丈夫想了想说，第一次病发正好是他们邻居Ted突然病发去世。

妇人笑说，可是我们和他也不是很熟，说这句话时她黯然地转过了头。

之后医生单独找了这个妇人问她Ted应该不仅是一个不太熟的邻居吧？

妇人哭着说，二十七年，我爱上了隔壁的男人，他也爱我，可是七年前他就这么死了。

医生说，所以你的心脏就每年这个时候停止跳动来纪念他。

女人很难过，问医生有什么办法可以帮她。

医生说，我多希望我有办法，可惜真的没有。

原来我会在某一天莫名其妙的心情不好，真的是有原因的。

七季已经快看完了，最大的感触之一就是真心觉得只有在美国这样的国家，才会有那么多人会要求除了生存以外的其他权利，比如死亡面前也不会放弃自己的爱好，在可以保留双腿的情况下冒生命危险也绝不截肢，比如为了同性结婚而抗争比如不愿意忍受痛苦选择安乐死。

Seattle Grace可能是世界上最悲惨的医院，遇过持枪杀手，有过定时炸弹，被水淹过，但也一定是世界上最充满爱的医院。

我曾经是名实习医师。

我没有一周八十小时的强制工作时间，我没有遇到那么多奇怪的病例，我没有机会独自打开病人的胸腔，我没有为了弄清死因私自做尸体解剖，我们很多等等之类的。

但我有经常遇到死亡，我有争取一个上台的机会千方百计，我有遇到很多感人的，无奈的，痛心的故事。

记得某一次跟一台时间长的手术，是一位饱受结核之痛的中年汉子，他需要切除他整个左肺，因为它们已经完全没有功能。

前一天我的住院医师老师就强调了手术时间长，能坚持者才能上。

我当然希望能够见识一下，结果一过中午，我就有些头昏眼花，最终只坚持到两点就被迫下台了。

很庆幸这个病人手术很成功，恢复也不错。

虽然他日渐憔悴与消瘦，但是凭着他原本强健的体魄和不错的身体机能，这一切终究是好起来。

只是他愈加依赖起他妻子起来，每次胸穿的时候都需要握着妻子的手，经常简直不了多久就要休息一会，需要妻子安慰下才会好转。

一个四十岁正值壮年的汉子被疾病打击到信心几乎全无，所幸手术是成功的，一切都在预料中进行的。

大约一个月他出院了，我看到他的小孩和妻子都很高兴。

虽然他不再能够胜任之前的工作，但是一家人是完整的。

之后我又看见过他几次，他比住院的时候还要瘦一点，但是精神很好，复诊的情况也不错。

最后一次听见他的名字是我轮到内科的时候，刚到内科我就参加了一个病例讨论。

很遗憾，我听到了他的名字，这次确是死亡病例讨论。

无法形容我当时的感受，我明白他只是一个病人，我也只是一名实习医师。

我们没有任何感情的联系，我们并不熟知。

可我无法把一个十几天前仍旧活生生的人和一个死亡名单上的名字联系起来。

他这次入院的原因是“呼吸困难”并且有“胸闷胸痛”的症状。

入院的第一天中午，他还在吃妻子买来的一个西瓜，一切毫无征兆。

忽然他感到心疼，疼痛不可缓解，很快就丧失了意识，心跳骤停。

他没有挺过来，他成了一个冰冷的尸体。

死因待研究。

那日我们讨论了很久，终于得出了他死亡的确切原因。

后几日，我将这件事情告知了我在外科的带教住院医师，他同样是未曾意料到，死亡本就不是可以预计的，我们能做的太少了。

作为医师并不是神，医师可以治病可以救命，却力量依旧有限。

这是实习医师必须要铭记的，生命没有那么多奇迹，很多的时候都是。

格蕾奋力的抢救一个被铁竿穿透的女病人，她已经被宣告了回天乏力。

格蕾不是不懂，她只是边努力抢救边大叫：我们不能什么都不做，这是我们的责任。

旁边的“纳粹”贝利把她拉开，告诉她已经抢救了十分钟，并且这病人大动脉已经撕裂了，是无能为力的。

因为医师经常面对死亡，是病人最后能够见到的人，那感觉总会让人觉得自己象是一个无情刽子手。

疾病不是医师造成的，医师比病人更加恨疾病，更加希望能够让每一个人都恢复健康。

可是，许多时候他们能做的只是告知家属，以及宣告死亡时间。

伤痛刻在在场每一个人的身上，包括救治的医师。

谁知道，谁在乎呢？

最后，德里克和女病人的未婚夫danny说，她要我告诉你，如果我们的爱足够强大的话，我会一直陪伴在你身边的。

我的泪无法抑制的落下来。

幸运的事，是还能够在生命的最后一刻告诉重要的人，一些重要的话。

爱从来不是生活唯一的内容，它却是最重要的事。

还有一个令人遗憾的故事，一个非常年轻的女子。

送到医院的时候已经没有呼吸，她的丈夫一脸茫然的等在医院急诊室外。

不知道他们发生了什么可怕的事情，可是一定是不愉快的。

很快女子的心律失常，心率增快，变成了室上速，到室颤的时候也就是几秒的事情。

马上除颤，心律恢复了。

洗胃的时候却什么也没有清洗出来。

据说，是丈夫看到妻子喝下的农药，也就是马上送至医院。

可是依旧是无法挽回，很多时候不是每一个决定都有挽回的余地的，苦果一旦酿下，也只有吞了。

第二天，我没有看到这名女子，询问带教老师的时候，才知道她已经走了。

生命如此的脆弱，大家都明白，只有真真面对才有深刻体会。

无疑这个剧集是有艺术的加工的，比如电梯的开胸手术，比如新生儿的手术，比如很多的特定剧情。

但是这些故事可能某些都是有根据的，所以故事才会动人。

那对相携六十年的夫妻，原本要在第二个月去威尼斯旅游的，他们要乘坐尖头弯弯的船穿过叹息桥底，为的是来世还能够相守相爱。

在得知罹患绝症的消息，老两口的要求都是不要告诉对方，为了让对方快乐的生活，最终他们缓缓的牵着手走出了医院，一如既往那六十年。

而我也看到在我们遗憾的宣告病人的无能为力的时候，妻子家人痛苦的哭泣，几乎失态。

当然医院还是有很多快乐的时候，比如先天畸形的孕妇，无法平卧，脊柱也畸形。

我们采取重重方法为产妇成功娩下健康的大胖小子，也有经过重重救治，重症的脑外伤病人终于可以下床并且能够独立生活。

人生没有那么多的奇迹。

所幸我们从未失去过信心，所幸我们还没有放弃过希望，我们依旧在努力。

所以人们都在一次次的打击重生，都在一次次的努力后终究成功。

不去渴求奇迹，不放弃而已。

不熟悉的医疗题材，害怕有血腥的画面，开膛破肚。

昨晚看了第一季第三、四集，慢慢有了感觉。

那个韩裔演员扮演的角色总给我最多感触，在模特医生拼命争取已脑死亡病人生命的最后二十七分钟时，她却希望尽快宣布其死亡，好去处理更多的病人。

为了争取乳腺切除手术，她去做琐碎的事情，最后发现主治医生的目的只是希望病人能死在医院，因为病人是曾在医院工作18年的清理护士。

有一段她和病人有意思的对话，病人问，回家之后有谁等着你？

家人？

朋友？

爱人？

还是孩子？

她都不是，不知所谓了一下，然后吐出一个“床”字，更有意思的是，病人说，床，呵呵，这里多的是啊。。。

后来就在病人心跳停止的时候，其他人都放弃挽救，她却执着地想要做点什么，大概从她身上看到了和自己的某些相似，不希望她就这样的结局吧。

在让家属签字遗体捐赠时，她一份一份地让人签字，愿意捐献你丈夫的心脏、肝、肺么？

愿意捐献你丈夫的角膜么？

……这可以帮助盲人恢复视力；愿意捐献你丈夫的皮肤么？

……这可以帮助皮肤烧伤的人……妻子的疑问让她无言以对，半晌没说话，一声不响地出去了。

“纳粹”告诉她：“他”不是一具尸体，不是可以捐赠的各种器官的集合体，不是没有姓名的人，他叫XXX，是别人的丈夫，孩子的父亲，他是一个人！

在做解剖和转移器官的手术时，看着肺、肝脏等一一被取出，看着那些脱离了躯体的器官单独取出来，又被放入冰冷的单独的盒子转移到其他人体内活过来，觉得人体真是神奇，医学也是很强大啊。

当最后心脏被取出时，仪器上的指数由几十变到了零，发出持久的“哔”声，突然意识到自己的心在跳，默默地，鼓动者，支撑着我的生命，我却在浪费生命，竟也无能为力。

还有她和四人组中惟一的男生的一段对话编剧也写得超符合她的性格，男医生被病人和同事误以为是同性恋，跟她说谁谁谁以为他是什么什么时，她面无表情：那你是吗？

他矢口否认，她居然说：really？

笑死偶鸟。

另外，在和学妹聊天，有些感触，人笨笨的时候，愿意相信美好的时候，会不会更幸福些。

在经历过失望后，对什么都不再相信，坚持独自、积极地面对人生，这事靠谱么？

从一开始，我就认定Cristina和Meredith是一类人：同样的聪明，同样的优秀，同样在受伤时拒绝抚慰，拒绝关怀，同样的孤独，同样的要求心灵和身体的自由，同样的对真爱抱有希望。

所以，她们成为了朋友，最要好的朋友，虽然Mere和Izze、Geroge住在一起，但对Mere来说，他们只是室友，只有Cristina才是与Mere心灵交通的人。

曾经不理解，为何Cristina在Burk受伤，生命垂危时转身而去，终于在这里找到了答案：由于9岁时目睹父亲因车祸流血致死，她害怕再次面对挚爱之人的逝去，害怕自己在那一瞬间崩溃，害怕那种眼见着亲人在面前，生命一点一滴的消失而无能为力的无助感。

Mere何尝不是如此，眼看着被疾病慢慢夺走理智的母亲，那种无助感也一直伴随着她，Cristina看到了，感觉到了，于是，"Meredith Grey"成了“my person”.面对着威胁着Mere的死亡，她又一次选择了走开，买便宜货，在酒吧里拼命灌酒，妄图这样打发时间，逃避心灵的伤痛。

幸运的是，Cristina身边还有Burk在,有了Burk的激励，她终于选择了面对这一切，而不放弃希望，当她满含热泪，用坚定的声音说try again的时候，这已经不是原来那个Cristina了，而是一个成长了的，可以用理智来面和意志对艰难困苦的Cristina。

刚刚看完S4 09心情低落，于我似乎永远也不能预见Mere和Derek是否能在一起了。

这些天对Grey's Anatomy沉迷的不行，它的配乐，它的剧情。

仿佛Grey就在我身边，她的痛苦她的难过她的犹豫都在我的身边上演

The best of this soap opera is voiceover in each episode. It intrigues me to scribble down every sentence of voiceover when watching it. It is food for thought. I like this way to say something about life, love, friend, job, responsibility, loneliness and so on in this series. It make me contemplating what has happened in my life.Attached is what I record, share with "同好":Season1 Episode 1: A hard Day’s nightThe game. They say either a person has what it takes to play, or they don't.There comes a moment when it's more than just a game. And you either take that step forward, or turn around and walk away.E5: “shake your groove thing”Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday, or if you get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean, seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. Kinda makes bikes and cookies look really really good, doesn't it?The scariest part about responsibility: when you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away.It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it, or we suffer the consequences. And still, adulthood has its perks. E6 “ If tomorrow never comes”A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. "Never leave that till tomorrow," he said, "which you can do today." This is the man who discovered electricity. You'd think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection. Sometimes, the fear is just of making a decision. Because, what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true. That, by the time the pain of not doing a thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor. And you thought I was speaking metaphorically.The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still, sometime we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.E07 “ The self destruct button”I mean, if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button? Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know... ...maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? "Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?" "Because it feels so good when I stop."E08 “Save me”You know how when you were a kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, Prince Charming, Who'd carry you away to a castle on a hill. You'd lie in bed at night and close your eyes, and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close, you could taste them. But eventually, you grow up. One day you open your eyes, and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely. Cause almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they'll open their eyes and it will all come true.E09 “who’s zooming who”Secrets can't hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing the lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the hospital...Well, that's a little different. One thing is certain. Whatever it is we're trying to hide, we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the problem with secrets. Like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything. Until you don't have room for anything else. Until you're so full of secrets, you feel like you're going to burst.The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free.Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control... ...you're not.Season 2E1 “Raindrops keep falling on my head”To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture and close. But sometimes, you're faced with a cut that won't heal. A cut that rips it's stitches wide open.The say practice makes perfect. Theory is, the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one. The better you get at remaining neutral, clinical. Cut, suture, close. And the harder it becomes to turn it off? to stop thinking like a surgeon. And remember what it means to think like a human being.E2 “Enough is enough (no more tears)”I have an aunt who, whenever she poured anything for you, would say, "Say when." My aunt would say, "Say when," and of course we never did. We don't say "when" because there's something about the possibility of more. More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better.There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times, there's no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless. And all we want is more.E3 “Make me lose control”Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain. You're 10 feet tall and bullet proof. And then you leave the O.R. And all that perfection. All that beautiful control just falls to crap.No one likes to lose control but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness. Of not being up to the task. And still there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning. And you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it. You fall. And its scary as hell. Except there's an upside to free falling. It's the chance you give your friends to catch you.E4” deny, deny, deny”The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed, and most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we wanna see and believe what we want to believe. And it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while, the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth, right in front of our faces.Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the damn bursts all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later, we have to put aside our denial ... and face the world head on gun's blazing. Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?E5 “Bring the pain”Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize...ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... And for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed. But sometimes, the pain gets to you when you least expect it. Hit's way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can't out run it. And life always make more.E6 “Into you like a Train”In general... people can be categorized in one of two ways. Those who love surprises, and those who don't. I don't. I've never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because, as surgeons we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know. Because when we aren't, people die and lawsuits happen. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Ok, so my point actually ... and I do have one. Has nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits or even surgeons. My point is this: whoever said what you don't know can't hurt you was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know we have what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients. And how to take care of each other. Eventually we even have to figure out... how to take care of ourselves. As surgeons we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark. Because in the dark, there maybe fear... ... but there's also hope.E8 “Let it Be”In the 8th grade, my English class had to read Romeo & Juliet. Then for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet. All the other girls were jealous but I had a slightly different take. I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters, she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have. Then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of 13, I was very clear. That love like life is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it's so romantic. Romeo & Juliet. True love. How sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison and go to sleep in a mausoleum ... ... she deserved whatever she got.Maybe Romeo & Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while. And then their time passed. If they could've known that beforehand maybe it would've all been ok. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was growing up I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone. And that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now I believe for the most part love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending ... most of the time. And that sometimes despite all your best choices and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway.E09: “Thanks for the memories”Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing. Happy. We're supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family, happy just to be alive... Whether we like it or not.Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful is recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciate small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing ... ... is reason enough to celebrate.E10 “Much too much”When you were a kid, it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and ate it until you got sick. In college it was the heady combo of youth, tequila and well you know... As a surgeon you take as much of the good as you can get... because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. Cause good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love is not always a good thing.How do you know how much is too much? Too much, too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask. And when is it all just too much to bear?E11 “Owner of a lonely heart”Forty years ago, The Beatles asked the world a simple question. They wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My latest theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More precisely the surgical wings of hospitals. As surgeons we ignore our own needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and families so we can save other people's friends and families. Which means that at the end of the day all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that.400 years ago another well known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course it was fancier when he said it. No man is an island entire unto himself. Boil down that island talk and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in. And let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have 4 legs. Someone to play with or run around with. Or just hang out.E12 “Grandma got run over by a reindeer”It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out, they actually go down. Experts think that people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason depression rates actually do spike at the holidays.There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what the fates hand you... ...and like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not ... ...you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you and clothe you and take care of you until your ready to go out into the world. ...and find your tribe.E13 “Begin the begin”Fresh starts. Thanks to the calendar, they happen every year. Just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year. Bringing on the great tradition of New Year's resolutions. Put your past behind you and start over. It's hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It's not a day on a calendar. Not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing, we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.E14 “Tell me sweet little lies”As doctors we're trained to skeptical because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is: every patient is a liar until proven honest. Lying is bad. Or so we're told. Constantly, from birth. Honesty is the best policy. The truth shall set you free. I chop down the cherry tree. Whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth, the truth freaking hurts.No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it. Eventually the lies fall away. Whether we like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie.E16: “It’s the end of the world”It's a look patients get in their eyes. There is a scent. The smell of death. Some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming. What's the one thing you've always dreamed of doing before you die? E17 “As we know it”In hospitals they say you know. You know when you're going to die. Some doctors say it's a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there's a scent. The smell of death. Something. There's just some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is heading for you. You feel it coming. Whatever it is. It's creepy. Because if you know. What do you do about? Forget about the fact you're scared out of your mind. If you knew this was your last day on Earth, how would you want to spend it?(现在似乎流行这样的假设，在北美大学，流行”last lecture”)E18 “Yesterday”After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here's what I've decided. There's no such thing as a grown up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us to truly, once and for all become an adult ... We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids. Running around the playground trying desperately to fit in.We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope. Against all logic. Against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope.E19 “ What have I done to deserve this”Ok so sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're gonna regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean maybe not regret, regret because at least you know we put ourselves out there. But still ... something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know that'll probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet, we do it anyway.What I'm saying is ... we reap what we sow. What comes around goes around. It's karma and any way you slice it ... ... karma sucks. Like I was saying ... ... payback's a bitch.One way or another, our karma, will leave us to face ourselves. We can look our karma in the eye or we can wait for it to sneak up on us from behind. One way or another, our karma will always find us. And the truth is as surgeons we have more chances than most to set the balance in our favor. No matter how hard we try, we can't escape our karma. It follows us home. I guess we can't really complain about karma. It's not unfair. It's not unexpected. It just ... evens the score. And even when we're about to do something we know will tempt karma to bite us in the ass ... ... well it goes without saying ... ...we do it anyway.E20 “ Band Aid covers the bullet hole”As doctors patients are always telling us how they would do our jobs. Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and send me home. It's easy to suggest a quick solution when you don't know much about the problem. When you don't understand the underlying cause ... ... or just how deep the wound really is. The first step towards a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But that's not what people want to hear. We're supposed to forget the past that landed us here, ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix.As doctors, as friends, as human beings we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you, shifts. And knocks you off your feet. If you're lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound. Something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal.E21 “Superstition”My college campus has a magic statue. It's a long-standing tradition for students to rub it's nose for good luck. My freshman roommate really believed in the statue's power... ...and insisted on visiting it to rub it's nose before every exam. Studying might have been a better idea. She flunked out her sophomore year. But the fact is we all have little superstitious things that we do. If it's not believing in magic statues, it's avoiding sidewalk cracks, or always putting out left shoe on first. Knock on wood. Step on a crack, break your mother's back. The last thing we want to do is offend the gods.Superstition lies in the space between what we can control... and what we can't. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. But does saying it 33 times really help? Is anyone really listening? And if no one's listening, why do we bother doing those strange things at all? We rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers. And that life works in mysterious ways. Don't diss the juju...from wherever it comes.E22 “ The name of the game”A good basketball game can have us all on the edge of our seats. Games are all about the glory, the pain and the play-by-play. And then there are the more solitary games. The games we each play all by ourselves. The social games, the mind games, we use them to pass the time. To make life more interesting. To distract us from what's really going on. There are those of us who love to play games. Any game. And there are those of us who love to play...a little too much.Life is not a spectator sport. Win, lose or draw...the game is in progress...whether we want it to be or not. So go ahead: argue with the refs, change the rules...cheat a little...take a break...and tend to your wounds. But play. Play hard. Play fast. Play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. Ok, so it's not whether you win or lose...it's how you play the game. Right?E23 “Blues for sister someone”The key to being a successful intern is what we give up. Sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment. That moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon. There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice. And then there are the sacrifices that you can't even figure out why you're making.A wise man once said, "You can have anything in life, if you will sacrifice everything else for it." What he meant is, nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good, means letting go of what you know is right. And letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming. When we don't have time to come up with a strategy, to pick a side or measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us, and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.E24 “Damage Case”We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves. To other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done. Or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can't even see.We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood. Then, as grown-ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then...we set about the business of fixing...whatever we can.E25 “17 seconds”In life, we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones: Gluttony, pride, lust. But the sin you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger's not that dangerous. That we can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior... ...it did make the top seven.So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really. You give in to a sin like envy or pride then you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself, and probably one or two others. But anger...anger is the worst. The mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does, you can take an awful lot of other people with you.E26 “Deterioration of the fight or flight response”Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive. We can't control it.Season 3E01 “Time has come today”In the OR, time loses all meaning. In the midst of sutures and saving lives, the clock ceases to matter. 15 minutes. 15 hours. Inside the OR, the best surgeons make time fly. Outside the OR however, time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us, it seems to play tricks. Slowing down, hovering....until it freezes, leaving us stuck in a moment, unable to move in one direction or the other.Time flies Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time Time to stand up... time to grow up. Time to let go.E02 “I am a tree”At any moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don't have control over most of them. When we get a chill, goosebumps. When we get excited, adrenaline. The body naturally follows it's impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. Of course, sometimes we have impulses we'd rather not control. That we later wish we had.The body is a slave to its impulses. But the thing that makes us human... Is what we can control. after the storm. After the rush. After the heat of the moment has passed. We can cool off and clean up the messes we've made. We can try to let go of what was. And then again...E03 “Sometimes a fantasy”Surgeons usually fantasize about wild and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant; we splice them open with a butter knife. Replace a valve with a hollowed-out stick of carrot. But every now and then, some other kind of fantasy slips in. Most of our fantasies dissolve when we wake. Banished to the back of our mind. But sometimes we're sure, if we try hard enough, we can live the dream.The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good. And twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad. And no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something. And there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's OK. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.E04 “What I am”At some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are as doctors, and the kind of surgeons they're going to become If you ask them they'll tell you. They're going to be General surgeons. Orthopedic surgeons. Neurosurgeons. Distinctions that do more than describe their areas of expertise. They help define who they are. Because Outside the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no clue who they are, they're afraid to find out.E05 “Oh, the guilt”First, do no harm. As doctors we pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens. Then guilt happens, and there's no oath for how to deal with that.First, do no harm. Easier said than done. We can take all the oaths in the world but the fact is... most of us do harm all the time.Sometimes even when we're trying to help, we do more harm than good. And then the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt is entirely up to you. We're left with a choice... Either you can let guilt thrown you back into the behavior that got you in trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt, and do your best to move on.E06 “Let the angels commit”To make it... really make it as a surgeon, it takes major commitment. We have to be willing to pick up that scalpel that may or may not do more damage than good. It's all about being committed. Cause if we're not, we have no business picking up that scalpel in the first place.There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make. True commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully.E07 “Where the boys are”As surgeons we're trained to look for disease. Sometimes, the disease is easily detected. Most of the time, we need to go step by step. First, probing the surface, looking for any sign of trouble. A mole or a lesion, or an unwelcome lump. Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody just by looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell us a whole different story.Not all wounds are superficial. Most wounds run deeper than imagined. You can't see them with the naked eye. And then there are the wounds that take us by surprise. The trick to any wound or disease is to dig down deep and find the real source of the injury. And once you've found it... try like hell to heal that sucker.E08 “staring at the sun”Many people don't know that the human eye has a blind spot in its field of vision. There's a part of the world that we are literally blind to. The problem is, sometimes our blind spots shield us from things that really shouldn't be ignored. Sometimes our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny.When it comes to our blind spots, maybe our brains aren't compensating. Maybe they're protecting us.E09 “From a whisper to a scream”As doctors, we know everybody's secrets. Their medical histories, sexual histories, confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a 10-blade. And every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets. We have to. But not all secrets can be kept.In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust. And then there are some wounds that are so deep, so profound, that there's no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait.E10 “Don’t stand so close to me”At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance, and pretend not to care about each other...it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to. and once we've chosen those people we tend to stick close by. no matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping.E13 “Great Expectations”No one believes their life will turn out just kind of ok. We all think we're going to be great. And from the day we decide to become surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, the difference we will make. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go, and then we get there.We all think we're going to be great. And we feel robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes, the expected pales in comparison to the unexpected. You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the unexpected is just what keeps us steady...standing...still. The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives.E14 “wishing and hoping”As surgeons we live in a world of worst-case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn't happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs ... ...and suddenly best-case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then...something amazing happens. And against our better judgment, we start to have hope.As doctors, we're trained to give our patients just the facts. But what are patients really want to know is. Will the pain ever go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? What are patients really want to know is... ...is their hope. But inevitably there are times when you find yourself in the worst-case scenario. When the patient's body has betrayed them and all the science we have to offer has failed them. When the worst-case scenario comes true, clinging to hope is all we have left.E15 “ walk on water”Disappearances happen in science, disease can suddenly fade away. Tumors go missing. We open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It's unexplained, it's rare, bit it happens. We call it misdiagnosis say we never saw it, any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didn't know we had disappears, do we miss it?E16 “drowning on dry land”Like I said disappearances happen. Pains go phantom, blood stops running, and people fade away. There's more I have to say. So much more. But I've disappeared.E17 “some kind of miracle”There are medical miracles. Being worshippers at the alters of science we don't like to believe miracles exist, but they do. Things happen...we can't explain them, we can't control them, but they do happen. Miracles do happen in medicine. They happen every day just not always when we need them to happen.At the end of a day like this, a day when so many prayers are answered and so many aren't... We take our miracles where we find them. We reach across the gap and sometimes against all odds, against all logic, we touch.E18 “scars and souvenirs”People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories... ...diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal leaving nothing behind but a scar, but some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere... ...and though the cuts long gone... ...the pain still lingers.What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful... :...or old wounds that should have healed years ago and never did. Maybe our old wounds teach us something... ...they remind us of where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Something's we just have to learn over and over and over again.E19 “my favorite mistake”Surgeons always have a plan, where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch. But even with the best plans, complications can arise, things can arise and suddenly you're caught with your pants down.The thing about plans is...they don't take into account the unexpected. So, when we're thrown a curve ball, whether it's in the OR, or in life. We have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to Plan B and make the best of it. And sometimes... ...what we want... ...is exactly... ...what we need. But sometimes... Sometimes what we need is a new plan.E20 “time after time”A patient's history is as important as their symptoms. It's what helps us decide if heartburn's a heart attack, if a headache's a tumor. Sometimes patients will try to rewrite their own histories. They'll claim they don't smoke or forget to mention certain drugs, which in surgery can be the kiss of death. We can ignore it all we want. But our history, eventually, always comes back to haunt us.Some people believe that without history our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose. Do we fall back on what we know... Or do we step forward to something new. It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us, what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time. So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we're making today.E21 “Desire”As interns we know what we want...to become surgeons. And will do anything to get there... Suffer through killer exams, endure 100-hour weeks, stand for hours on end operating rooms. You name it we'll do it. The tough part though is reconciling this huge thing we want, to be surgeons, with everything else we want.To often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken; it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be...(Addison pauses in front of the hospital)...the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.E22 “The other side of the life”The dream is this: that we'll finally be happy when we reach our goals... ...find the guy, finish our internship. That's the dream; then we get there and if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because if this is the dream then we'd like to wake up... ...now please.At some point, maybe we accept that the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves the reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But the strongest of us, the most determined of us, we hold on to the dream. Or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We awake to find ourselves...Against all odds...Feeling hopeful. And if we're lucky, we realize...In the face of everything, in the face of life...The true dream...Is being able to dream at all.E23 “Testing”A surgeon's education never ends. Every patient, every symptom, every operation...is a test, a chance for us to demonstrate how much we know...and how much more we have to learn.

我接受剧情必须富有冲突性， 这样才能贴近生活的无常，同时更加威慑观众，但是从第五季开始你就过火了。

Burke因为演员的素质问题离开我不予置否，你妥善的安排了这个离去并合理化了剧情发展。

同样的问题你让george以007的隐喻离开我无话可说，然后是izzie...这些都不是问题，你都办到了，可是从第五季开始，医院的合并，乱七八糟的人物涌入，混乱的思维和剧情，或许这就是你想表达的，我无话可说。

我明白izzie演员的离开或许很急迫，但是你曾经花那么长的时间铺垫了izzie和Derek的感情，那么深刻真挚，你却用以可笑的方式给一切画上了句号，这就是你理解的生活么？

你曾经如此成功的铺设了80多集的剧情却在这个时候慌神了？

没时间还是没精力？

你曾经搞了一集悬疑似的剧情，寻找事故负责人，你是在拍悬疑片还是侦探片么，可问题是，你拍也可以，但是，你毁了它，你把这集毁了，我在里面找不到你一向挖掘的人性和生活点滴，结局就是找出了那个人然后她被开除了，哇塞，好精彩！

你是不是从收视率感觉到了？

第六季有了很多改变，在我几乎开始以为一起又要好转起来的时候，我不知道你是想收拾烂摊子还是如何，你又把一切毁了，你说你舍不得Bailey 舍不得Mer 和 yang ，我理解，他们是这部剧的核心，但是我能不能拜托你至少把剧情发展和情节设置的合理、成熟一些。

第六季的最后两集，你让这个丧妻的男人变成了一个复仇者，没有人性的对外科医生开枪， 你知道问题在哪里么？

1、这么大这么一家著名的医院，在发生持枪时间的时候竟然没有调用监视器观察医院内的情况，然后警察的安排完全没有条理性，美国警察在你眼里、房屋设计师都是傻逼么？

2、在凶手射杀Little grey的时候，警察射杀到了凶手的肩膀 ，他没死我不说话，但是你就这么的跳过的情节，让凶手继续带着伤口游走在了医院里？？？

你觉得观众是傻逼么？

警察这种时候不是应该扑上去或者至少围捕他了么？

你竟然就这么的让他一层楼一层楼的游荡3、凶手是来杀死Derek、 Little grey 和Webber的，在他毫无人性的杀死多个人见到Derek的时候，你倒给他弄出了人性来了，让他犹豫不决的站在了Derek面前，虽然最后还是发出了那么子弹，但是如果按照之前的情绪发展，他应该是一枪枪的射杀了Derek根本不会听他辩解什么，更瞎的是，几分钟之后你让他出现在Derek开刀的OR里面看着yang为Derek做手术，而且他还不开枪！

你到底有没有参考过犯罪心理学？？

有那么多优秀的美剧，刑侦剧，悬疑剧，那么多专业的人员、编剧在哪里，你们究竟讨论过没有？

你把我们观众当成了大白痴，看一场你们上演的荒谬的剧情，为我们曾经喜爱、心疼的决死再一次纠结至死，你这是在愚弄我们的情感。

我真好奇前四季的剧本是谁创造的，你们要串联人员，分配每个人角色和台词，我理解，但是这一次你们弄出了最最荒谬的剧情，好好的生活被你们弄得乱七八糟 ，你们应该感到羞愧！

让我觉得最愚蠢的是我自己，坐在这里为剧情纠结，为这种烂透了的剧情伤神！

Alex: [one on one meeting with the Chief] I went to college on a wrestling scholarship. I played baseball, some basketball. But we'll go with football. Chief: What the hell does football have to do with who cut the LVAD wires? Alex: Let's say you were drafted to a team that wasn’t your first pick. You know, you don't like the players. You hate the way they play the game. You even think the quarterback is full of crap. The quarterback's a pain in the ass you don't owe a damned thing to. But, it's your team. You don't quit. You don't talk to the press. You don't bitch to the coach. You just, you just go out there every Sunday and you make the blocks and you take the hits and you, you play to win. You show up and you suit up and you play, because it's your freaking team. Chief: [one on one meeting with Cristina] I know your type. You're a surgical junkie. Cristina: Yes sir? Chief: I'm just saying, it's not going to be easy for you to be away from the OR that long. Cristina: No sir. Chief: And if you want to get back to the OR, you're going to tell me what I need to know, aren't you? Cristina: You're right, it's not easy for me to be away from the OR. And it's not easy for me to sit in front of you, or any other authority figure, for that matter, and not be able to give you the exact answer that you want to hear. I'm the one with the answers. I've always been the one with the answers. But right now, sir, I don't have any. Chief: Dr. Yang. Cristina: How do you keep your edge sir? Because I've watched you and you've been doing this a long time, and you're clean...you're focused, you are the job, nothing gets to you. And the thing is, sir, I was like that...until I got here, until I actually started doing this job and now everything is--is fuzzy and... Chief: That’s beside the point. Cristina: No, see, sir, this is the point. Because I can't tell you, I can't tell you what happened in that room. And before I could have; no guilt, no loyalties, no problem. Before--before I wouldn't have even been in that room. I wouldn't have gotten involved. I would have never frozen in surgery, and I would have told him what I thought he should do. I had an edge, sir. I had an edge, and I've lost it, and I need it. I need it back. So, if you could just tell me, how you keep yours and how not to be affected, I know I could be a great surgeon. So if you could just give me the answers, I would really appreciate it. Chief: You're excused Dr. Yang. Cristina: But-- Chief: You're excused. Cristina: I'll tell you, I'll tell you who cut the LVAD wires if you'll please-- Chief: No you won't, I don't want to know. Not from you. Yeah, I have the answers, but I can't tell them to you. I'm not going to be responsible for you becoming less human. Izzie: [one on one meeting with the Chief] I'm a pretty girl. Chief: What? Izzie: I'm not being arrogant, it’s just, it’s just kind of a fact. For a long time I made a career from my looks, so I get it, I'm a pretty girl. And not in a "from a certain angle" way, in an obvious way. It’s the blonde thing and the big boobs thing, big boobs are a key to obvious pretty if you know what I'm saying. Chief: Dr. Stevens. Izzie: It’s how men see me. I'm not a smart girl or an interesting girl, I'm a pretty girl. The blonde and the boobs it confuses guys into thinking that I'm someone else. And I'm used to it. And I'm used to them walking away when they realize… But then Denny goes and asks me to marry him. Chief: Is that why you cut the wires? Izzie: He doesn't make me feel like I'm a pretty girl. He makes me feel like… like me. I think he might know me. And so, if I did cut the LVAD wire, and I'm not saying that I did, but if I did, then no, I don't feel guilty. And I know that I should. And I would if it were anybody else. But I can't feel anything but happy. George: [one on one meeting with the Chief] Aren't you gonna say anything or [pause] I'm not gonna break [pause] I'm starting to get a little freaked out, but I'm not gonna break. It’s not because I don't care, because I do care what you think about me, I do. Care. I just can't tell you want you want to hear. Which seems to be a theme in my life right now. Just because you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to, you can want to very much. You can be with a person and be happy with them and not love them. And you can love somebody and not want to be with them. You don't need to love someone to want them. Now that's frustrating, when what your brain tells you you want and what you actually want don't match up. It’s exhausting. And, well, it’s complicated. But that's life. And life... sucks. Chief: [one on one meeting with Meredith] [as Meredith is staring off] I've known you for a long time. And I know your mother and father. And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you did not cut those LVAD wires. Meredith, I need you to tell me who did it. Meredith: I've been going over this and over this in my mind trying to piece this together. It was you, you're the reason my parents broke up. And it wasn't just an affair, she really loved you. It wasn't just this cheap thing where she didn’t tell you she was married. It wasn't all a lie. She left her husband for you. But you stayed with your wife, because it was the right thing to do. Maybe safe, but she was the right person for you to be with. Let’s face it, my mother, nothing wrong with being safe, being with the good guy because he’s good and we are talking about forever here. You've never regretted your decision. You've never looked back... Right?